Women crack me up.

75% of you write "no players", "no cheats, liars, drunks", "tired of games", etc. I love this one: "If you're looking for sex, move along to the next profile." That poor girl in the next profile! Like a guy is going to say, "hmmm, I better not hurt her feelings, as I am indeed a player". Most guys aren't even self aware enough to know what it all means or why they disappear after being in your bed. So, if after a few dates and perhaps some intimacy you find yourself dropped, or find some unexpected surprises, well it's your own fault for giving up the prize so easily.

I think there are a lot of guys who want the prize without working for it. So they put on a dog and pony show and get you to believe anything by telling you what you want to hear. If you fall for it, maybe you should reconsider YOUR approach? Open your mind, close your legs, and be patient instead of desperate. Listen to your kids, your friends, your family and not just your heart. Or vagina.

You describe yourself as caring, down to earth, compassionate, interested in people, and you want respect, etc. All wonderful qualities, for sure. Doesn't it say something about you when an obviously nice man sends a respectful message to you, and you don't reply with a simple, "hi, thank you for your interest, but..."? I don't care what POF says. Yes, some of you get a lot of mail, but there is no excuse for bad manners.

And what's with the little dogs? There isn't a guy out there who thinks this is attractive. Your "baby" is an annoying little runt we wouldn't be caught dead walking. How emasculating. Why are there doggie photos in your profile? Do you think we say, "Hmm, that's one hot little doggie!" Don't. Just don't.

Ladies, there is nothing hotter than pictures of a woman holding a dead fish. It puts a groove in our move and a jones in our bones and if you really want a man nothing says love like the sight and smell of dead fish.

Your profile has a photo. It lists your hair color, body type, etc. We can see you. Yet you write, "I am an attractive woman, 5'6, blond hair, 130 lbs...." WTF

Contrary to the latest information about the diet and weight issues of Americans in general, "A Few Extra Pounds" is not the new "Average". There are ladies who work there asses off for average, athletic and slim bods. Respect them. Then get to the gym.

There are 5 identical bathroom mirror or cell portraits. Why?

Women holding fish. That's hot.

Are the same women who complain about men wanting only one thing the same ones posing on a bed?



So you're a down to earth, kind, glass half full, life loving woman. But someone new writes a respectful letter and despite your lack of interest, you won't take a moment to even say thank you? Shame on you.

How many profiles actually have the words "tired of kissing frogs"? Why would anyone kiss someone who you don't find attractive or isn't right for you? Why would you even go out with one? Maybe you should say, "I'm tired of myself for being so desperate that I would kiss anyone just to make myself feel desirable."?

It constantly blows my mind how often simple grammar and punctuation is ignored. Are you lazy, or stupid? Anyone with a high school education learned that "I love riding Harley's" is incorrect. "I have three little dog's", etc. Apostrophes are to express the possessive, people, not the plural. Picky? Yes.

And you're what, 42 and writing: "Lkng 4 a gr8 d8 w/U". Are you serious?

Speaking of childish things, the god thing isn't really an asset. Instead of being "born again", why not just grow up? Love the Lord, all things Him, following his path...geez. Grown ups know morality isn't exclusive to the religious, and that the whole jesus/god thing is just a fairy tale, kinda like santa for adults. Think about all the crap in this world that comes down to religion. Christians are no better than anyone else. This ain't a horn to toot.

No, I don't hate women. I am not lonely or bitter. Just making some humorous observations about the world of women who crack me up. Write me if you dare.

A great day outdoors, fixing my girl a nice dinner, getting high, giving her a luxurious head to toe candlelight massage, having deliriously delicious sex, and holding her in my arms til the morning light...just not on the first date.