The following things make me smile:
The ssshooomp noise my gas fire makes when you light it up, smelly cheese, Patrick Stewart's voice, my car actually starting on a cold morning, the satisfaction gained from a successful hovering, hugging, pounding techno music, cooking a delicious meal from scratch, a good scratch, not having to get up in the morning, going to interesting places, not having to fly, sunny days, playing games with friends, other people getting a really nasty case of the giggles, realizing the inland revenue owe me 800 quid, making others laugh/smile, hi-fiveing, amusing animals/children, being naughty, buying woman's clothes, wearing woman's clothes, fancy dress.

The following things make me frown:
Getting caught in the rain, sitting in the flat by myself with nothing to do, going to work, folk standing 2 abreast on the escalator, aggression, bad losers, mushrooms, having to spend a week in hospital, having to get up when its cold, the mess after a party, restrictions, people pulling out at the last minute, seeing my friends unhappy, not having access to smelly cheese, celebrity culture, realizing that I now look a little more like a man than a boy (honestly), getting a parking ticket despite having a permit because I "wasn't inside the bay", not being able to make a toasty that's not soggy, knives, guns, clutter, car crashes not caused by me, skinny trousers, skinny trousers hanging off an a***, writing as if your sending a txt.

And a few more things that make me smile:
Not being too bad at scrabble despite being partially dyslexic, wearing a plastic penis on my forehead (see picture (removed)), the name (no shit) "Dick Pound", cheese rolling, having a really clean flat, lying flat, flattening pastry, the words ectoplasm, extend and protrude. I'll likely add to this as they occur to me.

A first date eh?

Well getting drunk is always the best way to break the ice so off to the pub we go. Or if its a nice day then perhaps a laze about in the park with a carefully concealed bottle of wine (buckfast naturally).