How about just one thing:

1. An ability to "make friends" with a certain 5 year old.

It all starts there but there's a lot more--in any event you need to make it past step one to find out the rest.

How 'bout we steal a car, force the owner to participate in a bank robbery and then ransom him/her for big $$$. Then, we blow the loot at the boat on blackjack and****ail shrimp, kidnap the waitress AND the dealer, drive across at least three state lines to make sure we have federal charges, and head for a small island off the east coast of Mexico. And someone wisely pointed out that we'll have to fake our own deaths as well--I initially forgot about that but it just makes good sense (from a criminal viewpoint).

Or we could get coffee--or water. Yes, let's have some water.

OK...maybe not an "ideal, socially-acceptable date" but it's funny to think about.