I like to think that I am smart, funny and interesting. I also like to think that I am 5'10", but I know that's not true, so you'll have to form your own opinion.
I pray for a world in which people know the difference between 'your' and 'you're', 'then' and 'than', 'their', 'they're' and 'there' 'were', we're' and 'where', 'too', 'to' and 'two', and 'our' and 'are' (I REALLY don't get that one!) as well as a time when profiles will no longer read, "I'm looking for A womEn". If you do not know the difference between ALL of the above and what is wrong with the previous statement, please do not e-mail me! :)
I also appreciate a man who can use basic punctuation. If I can't tell where one sentence ends and another begins, it can make for some confusing reading. Here is an actual e-mail I received:
you have got to be kidding me you judge a person on there grammer wow even with out meeting a person you can tell im not for you on how i type my words thats alittle superficial hun sorry just because iam not the sharpest pencil in the class lol doesent meen i couldnt have been a great man for you never know i could have been the love of your life and now you will never know because you threw me away like a bad grammer paper wow i realy hope you find the professer your looking for
I FIND IT THOROUGHLY ANNOYING WHEN SOMEONE USES ALL CAPS FOR EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?

I'm not sure why guys feel the need to comment on the length of my profile. If this is their idea of "LONG", then I can only imagine what their idea of a good read is..."Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me..."

I love to read. Some of my fave books are The Count of Monte Cristo (unabridged), Night by Elie Wiesel, The Great Gatsby, The Catcher In the Rye, Lord of the Flies, Alive, The Iliad, The Odyssey, and The Aeniad (all translated by Robert Fitzgerald), The Hobbit and LOTR...I LOVE Mythology!
I love movies, especially dramas, action (I probably have a better selection than you!) and comedies and I have too many faves to list. **brownie points if you know of Harold and Maude...AND bring me a brownie...
I will also admit (although I am ashamed of it) that I do watch way too much TV, even some of that mind-numbing reality crap! Some of my fave shows: Criminal Minds, The Closer, Dexter (I wonder if he takes requests), The Mentalist, Royal Pains, Leverage, So You Think You Can Dance, Life After People and more...
Music: I love everything except country. Some of the music on my iPod includes Nina Simone, Yaz, Soft Cell, Nine Inch Nails, Eminem, Violent Femmes, Ying Yang Twins, Chemical Brothers, Me'Shell Ndegeocello, VAST, Ozzy Osbourne, Daft Punk, Ludacris, Rolling Stones, Flobots, Helmet, Infected Mushroom, Simple Minds, Miri Ben-Ari, Metallica, Willie Dixon, Bob Gentry, Rage Against the Machine, Kate Bush, The Bravery, Cake, Ted Nugent, The Police, Beastie Boys, Johnny Cash (he's NOT country!), Led Zepplin, Lily Allen, Yo-Yo Ma, Billy Idol, Cream, John Lee Hooker, Dizzy Gillespie, White Stripes, Muse, Paramore, The Faint, The Crystal Method & Justin Timberlake (cringes) I know...how could I? I just love that he brought sexyback!

I like sports (Alexi Lalas once called me Pele!), but I'm not fanatical about them and I'd much rather watch college than pro sports, except hockey. Go Wings!
I HATE hot weather, so I am so glad that Fall is here and Winter is around the corner!

I'd rather be with no one for the right reason, than just anyone for the wrong reason.
I don't think I'm high maintenance, but I'm definitely not low maintenance, either. And, I am a total dork and proud of it!

I'd love if someone could explain the following:
What exactly does "non-religious" mean?? And why do people who state that they are non-religious then post a photo of them in front of an X-mas tree?
What does "other relationship" mean? If it includes you with a pacifier or in a diaper, please stop reading right now and go get PROFESSIONAL HELP!
Why do people post pics of of themselves with other members of the same sex so that you're not sure whose profile it is? Or post pics of themselves with someone who is MUCH better looking?
Why do men post pics of their car/truck/motorcycle/snowmobile/fave football player? Does that really help attract women? (To be fair, I don't read female profiles, so I don't know if they do this, too.)
I've noticed that a lot of people post pics of themselves wearing sunglasses. I'm going to assume they do that to hide their lazy eyes...

Favorite Quotes:
"I think there should be more violins on tv." Emily Litella
"Opinions are like a**holes, only mine matters!" Me
"You eat pieces of sh*t for breakfast??" Happy Gilmore
"He drew iron tears down Pluto's cheek, and made Hell grant what Love did seek." Milton
"The more you drink, the better I look!" Me
"Pain heals...chicks dig scars...glory lasts forever!" Shane Falco
"Stupid people shouldn't breed!" Me
"In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies" Katie, Horton Hears a Who


I quit smoking 8/24/06 and I am really becoming an "ex" smoker in the sense that I don't like to be exposed to the smell for an extended period of time (which means I don't want to kiss, sleep or live with the smell).

What I am looking for:
Someone who is 8 ft tall so that if we reproduce, the kids will have a shot at average height...Someone who is rich and terminal (hahaha that IS a joke)...SOMEONE WHO IS NOT TOO LAZY TO USE THE SHIFT KEY...Someone who is 15-20 years younger than me so that when I am 90, I'll still have someone who can drive at night...Someone who bores me to tears (I'm entertaining enough)...Someone who takes me too seriously, since I obviously can't! On a more serious note, unless you are an astronaut, please don't say that you are 'down to earth', because that's just really redundant and I would like to meet a 'fun hating' guy, because I just don't believe that one actually exists!
If you don't have a pic on your profile or if your photo is 30 years old (seriously happened!), I probably won't bother to look at it (and if you do have a pic, hopefully, your camera has more than one pixel and/or the photo wasn't taken from a mile away). I hate having my pic taken, but I suffered through it and put a few on my profile, so I figure it is the least anyone can do. And if you don't bother to fill out your profile, I probably will have no desire to chat with you. Past experience shows blank/boring profiles mean lazy/boring people.
I used to try to respond to anyone who sent me a message, but after receiving a LOT of very nasty messages, I will only respond to those who interest me.
*Important* I am not looking for a booty call, so if that is all you are interested in, I wish you luck finding it in someone else.

Jello Wrestling, but only if it is strawberry or cherry flavored jello...haha, no really, a good first date is enjoying the company and conversation, no matter what the activity (although air hockey and me kicking your tuchus would put a smile on my face).