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Almost two years ago, a very close friend of mine considered dating after making a full recovery from a failed relationship. Wounds healed, lessons learned, free of any residual feelings and armed with a fresh, enthusiastic outlook on life. He embraces the world, open to all the possibilities and adventure that may reside around each and every corner. Like many of us, finding the love of his life is at the forefront of his being and although life is not impossible without it, loving and being loved has a nutritious value that most find difficult, if not unbearable to live without. One could say, with an enormous amount of accuracy, love is the most important gift two people can share with each other. Void of any desire to frequent bars or similar establishments, he joins a dating website and navigates the labyrinth of questions, selections, and all that is involved in searching for his one and only. He does not limit himself to a narrow, select type of woman, as beauty radiates on the outside if it’s abundant on the inside. After a short approval period his creation was posted and ready for viewing by all who may be interested. Responses flow in rather quickly, as he is a tall, very handsome man in his late forties, and in all the years I have known him, women have always been drawn to him. A few well written notes, a wink or two, some appeared authentic and ignited his interest. A few weeks go by without success, a few notes, phone conversations, a couple meetings over coffee or dinner, sharing thoughts, and life experiences. Unfortunately, those who seemed promising and genuine were neither. He remains optimistic and isn’t discouraged by the lack of success, and continues his quest with the same amount of enthusiasm as when he started. One evening he receives a letter, it was thoughtfully written and although her picture was a bit faded, her radiant smile shined through and the words she had written made her image much more beautiful. After a couple of notes and sharing a conversations or two by phone, they plan a meeting. Nothing elaborate, just sharing a casual afternoon together for lunch and conversation. Well, it was magical! I have no knowledge of their time together, as that is only for the two of them to know. I do know that in all of the thirty plus years I have known him, I have never witnessed such excitement and happiness flow out of him. Even as teenagers, when love seemed so deep and dramatic. I am very happy for the both of them.

Rather than write a dissertation titled “What’s so great about me”, with the intent of convincing any of you that I’m a great guy and your life would be so much better with me in it (which is highly debatable), I thought I’d list the qualities that most may find to be a detriment to any literary audition. This is not a ploy to be different than other profiles that only promote all the positive aspects of ones character, and it’s not indictment of those who do so. We are all compelled to list only our positive attributes and display our best behavior to be attractive, either here or in person. That’s normal and healthy. My intent is to show what most of you may find as being flaws, with the goal of not wasting your time and efforts in your search.

I’m self employed and have to endure the financial roller coaster that accompanies owning a small business.
I don’t always do what I’m told.
I tend to shy away from any activity that may end with me in the emergency room.....Again.
I design audio electronics and can get so focused on projects that I zone out the world and all who are in it while designing things. The good news is that I’m never irretrievably lost, as food, a woman’s touch or a combination of both always brings me back to reality. Sometimes yelling works.
I avoid HEAVY DRINKERS at all cost, for many obvious reasons which only those of us who don’t get hammered once a week or more understand, and seems to escape the understanding of the intermittent and perpetually inebriated.
I have a very short fuse with inanimate objects, yet I’m painfully patient and nice to people.
I’m opinionated, but lack any talent for arguing and usually keep my opinions to myself.
I’m occasionally late for things and generally don’t care.
My work is sometimes accompanied by loud, annoying noises. This sonic torture is usually perpetrated by a guitar and never really resembles any sort of music.
I drive an old Barracuda that looks like the owner must have a mullet, missing teeth and is a regular on Cops.
When ever I work on anything, I make a big mess....But I clean up after myself.
I'll occasionally eat a whole quart of ice cream at once... Moose tracks!
I have never tried any drugs and refuse to have anything to do with anyone who plays with them.
I occasionally do some welding and frequently set an article of clothing I’m wearing ablaze.
I drink way too much Diet Dr Pepper.
I never park very close to the entrance of any business. I prefer to walk and avoid the angry portion of the parking lot.
I eat more than any two people I know.
I like to read "how to" types of literature covering just about anything, but sometimes my new found knowledge may be followed by a small explosion or electrocution.
I have zero tolerance for people who don’t put their minor children at the very tip top of their priority list. I will run away, screaming into the night.
I will occasionally drink an entire pot of coffee.
I’m a closet chick flick watcher.
I'm in the habit of putting off much needed haircuts.
I own one suit and a tie, and haven’t worn either in well over ten years.
Most of my friends are musicians, and when I go to a club to hear them play, the only people I know are in the band, so I feel like I’ve crashed a party I wasn’t invited to.
I'm not sure what "other relationship" means.





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........c/o....(......Please
.......c/o.....\......Put This
......c/o......\......On Your
.....c/o....../.......Account If
......\.......|........You have EVER
.......====........Deliberately
.......|-----|.........Broken The Neck
.......|-----|.........Off Your Ex's Or
.......|-----|.........Anyone's Guitar.
.......|-----|.........For Any Reason!
.......|-----|.........Thank you.
.......|-----|.........RRRRRRick!
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