anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore anymore.

"No Hard Feelings (DJ Q-Ball Remix)": Bloodhound Gang

I used to have a t-shirt that had a sun on it and it said, "I'm just a bright ****ing ray of sunshine aren't I?"

maybe I should post a picture on here with my shirt off... I mean, I ain't no David Hasselhoff... but I'm okay I suppose... now that I lost all my drinkin' weight. jesus christ on a stick! I think I figured it out!!!! I need to dig out some old senior high school pictures to post!!!!

y'know that new Weezer song "Can't Stop Partying (ft. Lil Wayne)" could be Tiger Woods' theme song. make a parody outta it- like the Lil Wayne part: "okay b!tches, Tiger's in the treezy...upside down and bleeding..."

just sayin'.

Hi, I'm John. I'm 4'8" tall and I weigh 450 pounds. I wear size 6 shoes. all I do all day is smoke weed and play video games. I have 12 kids that I don't take care of from 12 different baby mamas- I don't give a sh*t about them. I'm an alcoholic and I live off unemployment and welfare checks. for fun I like running over puppies, drinking goat blood and worshiping satan. I've been convicted off 3 felonies and I have 10 tats that I got in the pen including a swastika on my ass! I'm an assh*le with no redeeming qualities.

^^^^^^^
That is all bullsh*t. Let's start over.

Hi, I'm John. I'm 6'1" tall and I weigh 160 pounds. I have Brown hair and eyes and I wear size 12 Footjoys (when I'm golfing of course). I've held a steady job pretty much ever since the age of 12. I have never been married & I don't have any kids and the only debt I have is like maybe a couple grand on a car loan. I kicked Red Stripe/Heineken/Patron and valium in Nov. 2006... an' it's prolly a good thing I did cuz if I hadn't I prolly wouldn't be here entertaining you right now. I like sports and music. I'm 100% hetero, though I am tolerant of other preferences. I do drop the "F" bomb on occasion... I'm talking about the 6-letter F word the THE THE F word.... think Harley riders from south park. my wardrobe consists of mostly khakis and polos. I actually don't have any tats, cuz I'm phobic of needles.

I know what you're thinking- wow, this guy is perfect... well, not exactly.
My back is broke- years of playing sports adds up- basically, I'm constantly in pain.
I've torn an ACL in one knee and a PCL in the other so my knees are basically f*cked too.
In the wintertime I do sometimes grow a beard out just to stay warm.
I have a severe hatred for the band nickleback... and a general distain for canada except of course, for Erica Durrance (she's pretty hot).
I'm not very political- haven't voted since 1996- and really I prolly only voted that year cuz it was the first I was eligible to.
I'm a 5 handicap golfer, hit a wall can't get past it. I suck.
I'm addicted to iTunes.
I have abnormally large hands.
I'm a Mopar guy and besides Honda there isn't really any other Japanese or Korean car maker I'd ever consider buying.
I do occasionally buy $20 cigars and smoke them.
I ****ing HATE cold weather. ****ing HATE it more than life itself.
My favorite thing to yell went venting after hitting a bad golf shot is "jesus tittyf*cking christ." like the way it rolls off the tongue... and as shitty as I've been playing the last 5 years or so- it's been said a lot.

that's all I can think of for now...

p.s. I'm prolly not going out on a limb here by saying that I am the coolest mother****er on this whole website. 99.9% of the "guys" on here are d*ckless republican douche bag ***holes with closet tranny tendencies. - some chick on here told me that.

volunteer work. Habitat for Humanity? Matt Talbot's? The American Legion? Salvation Army? they all have my celly.