Assist me in my endeavors to quit masturbating!

If you take the above statement as being serious then maybe you should go out and see if you can find yourself a sense of humor.

Favorite color: Black (and yes I know it's a shade. Calm down)
Favorite movie: The Big Lebowski
Favorite season: Autumn
Favorite state of matter: Plasma
Favorite book: The Secret Teachings Of All Ages
Favorite person(s): My dad and mom. Duh. Who else?
Favorite organizational device: Trapper Keeper
Favorite flora: Japanese maple
Favorite fauna: Monkeys - any kind of monkey really

Oh yeah, my rule about no cowboy hats still applies. If you're wearing one don't message me. I hate you.

If you message me and I don't respond it simply means that I think you're a terrible person. Don't be offended.

I want to meet a girl that has absolutely no self-esteem, is completely submissive and co-dependent. Hopefully a girl with no personal opinions. A nut swinger.

I play drums. I like drums. I like rock music. Mostly harder stuff and alternative - Tool, Deftones, These Arms Are Snakes, Polvo, Sonic Youth, Radiohead, A Perfect Circle, Thom Yorke, Beck, Mastodon, Meshuggah, Nirvana, Queens Of The Stone Age, Animal Collective, Mew, Barkmarket, Alice In Chains, Slayer, Circa Survive.

I have twenty-two children all from different mothers. So, if my promiscuity and high sperm count is a problem for you then don't bother messaging me. It's my body! I do what I want!

Smoke some crack at 6 mile and Van Dyke. Maybe go out for sushi afterwards and hate on Barack Obama.