If I am married, why am I here?

Good question, a fair question. Because I am in a situation where I have been loyal for over 20 years to a wonderful woman who, through no fault of her own, took ill within 1 year of our marriage in the 1980s. We have never gone on vacation, never walked on a beach together, or most anything people take for granted. Going for a drive is a huge ordeal for her and is now becoming one for me. She has a very serious case of MS (Multiple Sclerosis).

The fact is, I am very unhappy about this (happy in general though), but there is no one to blame. Nor would I ever leave her. I need an outlet to do the things I have been denied. Is it selfish? Yes. But sometimes being selfish is the right thing to do if you've tried everything else and you can't handle it anymore.

I have a lot to lose if anyone in my community finds out as I am well known. However, I keep no secrets from my wife as she would see it in my face. This has been a long time in coming and she knows about this and encourages me to pursue it as she knows what it is doing to me and so it's not good for her either. I could not do this if we hadn't have talked about it for years. To my surprise, some women find they would rather my wife did not know so they would feel safer knowing I had something to lose should she find out. Well, I am very well known in my circles as I said and it would ruin my life if this were to come out. I assure you I have a lot to lose so discretion is assured. For what it's worth, it would be safe with me anyways as it would bother me to cause hurt to anyone. If you are thinking of writing and telling me it will hurt my wife by knowing, please understand I know my situation, have given it great thought, and this is what I need to do so please don't write and tell me off. I am hurt enough already and am asking for an EXCLUSIVE supportive companion. In return I offer the same and as well will be a good friend and companion who will really appreciate the little things and will make you laugh too. Despite my inner unhappiness, I do not show it. I do my best to present a happy and fun person because that is who I truly am and I don't believe in being miserable or feeling sorry for myself. That affects others around me. It's just lately that it has gotten somewhat harder to pretend things don't bother me. For what it's worth, I do not wish to deal with it when we are together, but rather to forget and have fun for awhile. Does that make sense to you? If you are the right woman, I think it will.

Will sex be involved. I am not here just for that, but it is a natural act that will inevitably happen with 2 compatible people. I have a high sex drive with a lot of imagination. Actually, there are many fantasies I have never been able to fulfill because of the situation. I like women who are strong on the outside, but have an inner softness and have a bit of a SUBMISSIVE streak sexwise. I can also be very tender. But that is the perfect package and that does not exist. Does it? Maybe we just need something we have never known existed. Each other!

A first date is for getting to know each other. As this is from a website, and it is less desirable for women than it is for men to meet in private, I would think meeting at a public place would make sense. Maybe a coffee and some talk to get to know each other better and to see if there is a Chemistry Match as well as a Checklist Match so to speak. Once we are comfortable, I'd love us to go for a walk, and make you laugh as we get to know more about each other. A movie doesn't reveal much as we would talk very little. If after the walk there is still time, a nice quiet restaurant would be a good way to end an enjoyable day. Do you like Italian?