Some of these random thoughts are true. Some are false. Does spelling count? It is your job to determine which is which. Get it right and you win me as your door prize. I’m a male. Speak slowly and use small words if you want me to understand. Of course, you could always draw me a picture. Men are visual creatures. Or so I have been told. I once owned a Porsche. Now I want a Ferrari.

I have grown mean in my old age. I’ll pull the wings off of every butterfly that I can find. I shoot Vols, Noles & Canes on sight without a moment of hesitation. NASCAR is racing for those with short attention spans. Drag racing is for those with no attention span. I’m honest. If you don’t want to know what I think, then you had better not ask me ‘cause I will tell you what is on my mind. No real baggage and no dependencies but a very warped sense of humor.

Why do I get attention from women who live hundreds of miles away and none from my own area? Should I move?

NASCAR is not racing. It is a four hour left turn. I have a job and in this economy, that is saying something! I think that I have a great deal to offer to the right person. But I might deal from the bottom of the deck. You had better be able to laugh because a good sense of humor is vital. Bonus points if you can recite dialog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Animal House. Extra special points if you even know who Monty Python is. Or was. I'm looking for someone to play golf with. Someone to post my bail. Scratch me behind my ears. Age is just a number and it really does not matter to me although I do have my limits. Tennessee can recruit a 13 year old but I won't date one. The woman I seek is honest, confident and caring. Someone who wants to be treated with respect. She is very much herself. It’s great to be a Florida Gator. It’s even better to get on a hot streak at the craps tables in the MGM. She is fun and adventurous with a great sense of humor, yet she is loving and nurturing and enjoys quite time together. I don’t care for NASCAR. She is not afraid to speak her mind, yet she is also open to compromise. Shouldn't that be quiet time? Rap is not music. It’s just noise. She is attractive physically, mentally and emotionally.

Who gets Michael Jackson’s glove now? And where has the other glove been all these years? She is down-to-earth person with an excellent sense of humor who loves to have fun. I really miss Dubs! And Late Nite! Man, too many dead brain cells. The only thing that she can not be is a smoker.

Southern rock is cool. Outlaws. Molly Hatchet. Marshall Tucker. Santana, Nickelback & Metallica can also be found in my CD player. You won't find Kenny G. My picture is recent except I cut off most of my hair. The ones on my head. Still have the beard. I'll never get rid of that.

Well, there you have it. A brief glimpse into the horror that is my mind. Do you have the courage to continue? Well, do ya?!

First date? Something like me. Simple...