Hello. I'm an intelligent, caring man with hopes and dreams. I am genuine, charming and excellent dating material.
English is my first and only language, though I might throw in a smattering of French if you're lucky. I don't take myself too seriously, except in a bear fight.
Your friends would approve of me. They might say things like "ah, he's lovely" or "I really like him". They might also say "Is he always like that?" or "I'll distract him, you run for the exit". I don't know - I've never met your friends.
Truth is, you might not like me, but you won't dislike me either. And what's so wrong with indifference? That said, you should like me. I'm great.

I'll pretend it's a perfectly normal set up - two friends having a drink. Then I might freak out for a bit, so I'll be quiet and let you do all the talking. I'll laugh at all your jokes, unless they're at my expense. Then, just as you're looking nervously towards the door, I'll say something so profound you will instantly fall in love with me. Violins will play, doves will appear from nowhere, the credits will roll. Fade to black.