| | So, where to begin...
I am a refined and educated thirty-two year old man who is looking for a woman who is kind, honest, and understanding. But most of all, she (you, hopefully) can understand that a man like me has some quirks and while I have dashing looks, they also come with some baggage.
First, the good news! I go to the gym often, and do my best to keep myself in shape. That way when we go out to dinner, or to an event at the museum, you'll be happy to be seen with me. Speaking of museums, I am quite cultured in the arts, and regularly attend the theatre, art museums, and live concerts. Being well read, I tend to go through a novel a week, and am a writer myself, editing my first novel as we speak! You'll also enjoy nice, home cooked meals laced with sparkling conversation and much laughter. Finally, I am a very giving, passionate man who enjoys pleasing his partner (and only his partner!), and find physicality to be just as important as commonalities.
Now for the bad news...
First off, I do not own my home; I rent. As a matter of fact, I rent from a nice lady who owns the place. The walls are thick enough, and her room is seperated from mine, but don't feel like you'll get any privacy. If our relationship goes the distance, I'll more than likely be moving in with you. Don't worry about extra stuff; I don't have much.
Speaking of not having much, that would include money. I get by on groceries all right, and I can afford to put gas in my car, but if you want to take a romantic weekend getaway up the coast, it'll be on your nickel. I won't act like a mooch, and will chip in for gas here and there, or go halfsies on a motel room, but if five stars are what you're after, better start saving now.
Finally, all the home cooked meals, combined with my regular workout habits, result in... well... I fart a lot. Sometimes I can pinch my cheeks long enough to make it to another room, or outside, but most of the time they sneak up on me and I am unable to hold them in. You'll never hear me fart, but you'll certainly know it. Sometimes they just float by, but others will singe your nose hairs and make your eyes water. I'll try to comfort you while your eyes roll into the back of your head, but I can't help but laugh when this happens. I not laughing at you, really, just the situation. You'll never get used to the smell, which is sometimes oakey, sometimes musty, but eventually you'll get the nerve to fart in front of me. While this will bring us closer together, don't think your brand will ever reach the obnoxious qualities that I can produce. If that ever were to happen, as unlikely as that may be, I'll probably have one waiting in the wings to take yours out... Fair warning. |
