Reading is hard. Sorry to torture you with so much of it.

I should probably get a few things out of the way here before I start. First off, if you're a Steelers fan just stop reading now. It will never work. I would end up saying something irreparable and I really do not want to make someone cry. If you are seriously lacking in the humor department, or even remotely not into affection then best of luck to you. If you type in all caps, I'm not interested. I view that as a sign of brain damage. If you honestly think I am interested in supporting you and your brood of 10+ cats you are severely mistaken (and yes that has been honestly requested of me before).

With that out of the way I can honestly say that I am much less of a douche then most of the people you will ever meet. Though I may be prone to a few jackass maneuvers from time to time it can't be avoided. I am a man after all. This neither excuses said actions or justifies them, it merely dulls the surprise of those moments. Fun or enjoyment is what I strive for, even it means sacrificing my own dignity to make someone giggle.

So what else... um, I'm a rather creative person, and I tend to be very opinionated at times, and certainly not shy about it (as I'm sure statements made so far have demonstrated). Taboo subjects and discussions never frighten me, and I never hesitate to dive into such confrontation with all guns blazing. I'm not afraid to admit I'm wrong, but dammit, concrete evidence had best be given to substantiate that instance. And if so I do own up to it.

I enjoy most sports but I'm a die hard Bengals fan, even though they're currently blowing dogs for quarters, and often times watching them is about as enjoyable as slamming one's reproductive organ in a car door. I also like to watch UFC, and I am usually host to many a gathering to witness Ultimate F'ing Cuddling. I'll admit I've been a little dormant in my physical activities. Took a minor hiatus from playing indoor soccer to focus on work a bit more. Would be nice to have some one who likes to play sports or work out with.

I'm not sure where this site has me listed at but I live in Park Hills, Kentucky. It wouldn't find it when I was setting up this damn account. and if you need a frame of reference as to where the hell that might be, its about five minutes away from downtown Cincinnati. I work in Blue Ash though. I love my commute about as much as I would love to wake up tomorrow and discover my head's been sewn to the carpet.

I hope I don't come off as too much of a hardass because I'm not really. I'm very easy going and approachable. I do have a tendency to give the impression of being a little shy at first. Shocking I know. I'm certainly not they every-day person you meet and I've grown accustomed to being the oddball that needs to warm up to people a little. Though this personality trait can keep the dull moments to a minimum.

So about who I'm looking for, I know I mentioned some insta-deal breakers above but I forgot to mention that if you're under 24 I'm not really interested. I think that by the age of 25 people's lives change. I'd rather be with someone who has hit that mark or turn of events in their life where they want to focus on one person. I've been through enough experiences in my life and I know what I'm after. I'm at a good place in life right now and it would be nice to have someone around to share experiences with. Back to who I'm looking for...

Please be smart, because I am a dumbass. Well, not really, but I have my moments. Intelligence is sexy and goes a long way. Please have a sense of humor. If you haven't guessed I'm a smartass and I love someone who can keep up or keep me on my toes. Please be affectionate. I can't exist in a relationship without it. I like to touch and be touched, and who doesn't besides the Amish? Please be open to trying new things and experiences. I love to explore new foods and areas. Please be in shape. Keeping myself healthy is something I'm working on. I spend too much time behind a desk and I would love to have someone in my life with active habits that I can mirror. Please communicate as well. If you're feeling something, either good or bad I would like to know. And I won't flip out if its something that i won't like. Trust me, I have tough skin.

I don't need a lot of excitement and I'm quite content with nights in as much as an evening out. I do love to cook so home cooked dinner and a movie is always nice. Though nights out are great too, just don't force me into a club. I try to avoid the Axe body spray demographic as much as possible. Though I would dance with you if I did. So it may sound daunting after this short novel but I really am easy going, I just know what I want is all. I want the kind of relationship they write novels about.

I would lather myself in KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce, dive into the ocean and punch a great white shark in the face to entertain you. Actually, I can't back that up. I would probably sh*t myself if confronted by said creature. First dates are first dates, they're usually the mild version of the Spanish Inquisition, sometimes torturous but nobody gets burned at the stake. I think finding some kind of environment were talking can be accomplished is just fine, and taking things from there to wherever.