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|| WHO AM I? ||
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-- I'm a dad first.

-- I'm your rock when you're sad or scared.

-- I'm the one who listens to you about your day because I'm genuinely interested.

-- I'm the guy who has a life of his own & still makes you a priority, but doesn't cling.

-- I'm the man who expects you to treat me with as much respect as I offer you.

-- I'm modern enough to believe in equal pay for equal work, & in taking turns on who picks up the check. But I'm traditional enough to open the door for you or pull the car to the curb for you when it's raining.

-- I can hold my own in a fight, but I'm strong enough not to get into one.

-- I will argue with you if we disagree, but I will not berate you or say something with the specific intent of hurting you. We'll resolve difficult things. I'm a staunch advocate of make-up sex.

-- I'm the guy who will make you laugh because I love it when you smile.

-- I'm the guy who will not let you get away with petty things or diva-like behavior, but then turn around & tell you I love you.

-- I am a good kisser & when you kiss me you will have a good sense of what things will be like when we go beyond kissing.

-- I'm not afraid to assert my "maleness," show you how attracted I am both with romance and touch, & take charge when a situation calls for it. I'm equally comfortable admitting I'm wrong when I'm wrong, or coming to a compromise or middle ground.

-- I always try to better myself, whether it's through education, exercise, art, etc.

-- I'm open to a LTR, but I'm not going to know after 1 or even 2 dates, & if you know that quickly it may freak me out a little! (That said, there IS one of you with whom I would share Lamb with at Twilight in a windstorm. You know who you are and nobody else will understand what on earth this is about.)

-- Even if we're not long term/lifetime material but we do become intimate for awhile, you're the only one I'm "with" during that time. I've already been through my midlife crisis. I hope to see what develops with you & me.

-- I've been through a failed business, divorce, 2009 layoff, a horrendous time finding a new job & have had to make sacrifices. Found a new job that I love & I'm feeling good about my direction, but if you're looking to find the guy who has all of his ducks neatly in a row already, I'm not him...yet.

-- I'm realistic. Saying what I said above may disqualify me with you, & that's okay because I'm telling you who I am, not who I think you want me to be.

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|| WHO I AM NOT ||
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-- I am not a whiner or a crybaby, but occasionally something will make me sad, and yes I may cry then.

-- I'm not politically correct. Family Guy and South Park sometimes make me laugh until I'm almost crying with glee, and it's usually over something that would offend most people.

-- I am not a racist. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I -love- meeting people of all ethnicities and cultures.

-- I'm not your sugar daddy. That doesn't mean I won't take you out; I will. But if you're looking for the guy who continually buys you jewelry, clothes, etc. so you'll sleep with him...I respectfully request that you look elsewhere. Thanks.

-- I'm not a pushover. Sometimes your pouty face will work & sometimes it won't.

-- I'm not a jerk. Whether we decide to be friends, date for a short time, or move into a more serious relationship, we will respect each other & I will always believe that we were brought together for a reason regardless of how much or how little time we spend together.

-- I'm not that organized. My computer is. My sock drawer isn't.

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|| WHO ARE YOU? ||
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-- You're equal parts sexy & tomboy. You're comfortable going from a classy or hot outfit & heels for a night out, to a sweatshirt & jeans for the ball game & back again like it comes naturally to you...because it does.

-- You LIKE being "girly." I roll my eyes & give you a hard time about the new purse or getting another pedicure, but you know I like it when you do that.

-- You're confident in who you are, & don't worry what others think of you, but you still value my opinion.

-- You have a wicked, silly, sarcastic or goofy sense of humor, or a combination of all of the above.

-- You show a passion for something. It doesn't matter what it is. Tell me what makes you "you."

-- You're very "touchy feely," you love to cuddle up under a blanket with your man on a lazy Sunday, & you are unabashedly sensual & sexual. You're a good kisser.

-- You wear one of my t-shirts to bed and around the house the next morning because you like how it smells like me and I think you look comfortable, cute and sexy in it.

-- You try to better yourself, whether it's through education, exercise, art, etc.

-- You're a football fan; even better if you're a Bears fan. We'll be watching the games together or with my friends or your friends...or both. You can be a fan of another team, I know some of of us have been transplanted. With one exception. Please read the associated football item under "Who You Are Not" below.

-- You're honest but tactful. If you're not "feeling it," better to say it now. Dating other guys? I expect that, we're on a dating site. Just tell me the truth & I will do the same for you.

-- Bonus points if you have nice legs. Yes, I'm a dog like that. I'm not shy. ;-)

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|| WHO YOU ARE NOT ||
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-- You are not arrogant. You're confident in yourself & feel that you are funny, smart, sexy & worth every bit of attention I give you. But if you feel like you're God's gift to men, I don't think that you are.

-- You're not a gold digger. You know that I will bring you flowers "just because," or remember a day that has special meaning for us, or take you out. But you don't demand that I take you shopping & hand you my credit cards. Not gonna happen. However, I don't mind shopping with you. I'll hand you the outfits you want to try on, & I'll probably try to get mischievous with you in the dressing room while the salesperson isn't looking.

-- You're not clingy. That doesn't mean we have to stop being affectionate in public. I'm talking about calling me and texting every hour to keep track of me. I don't want that & I won't do it to you. I trust you unless you give me a good reason not to.

-- You're not a Packers fan. It's against my religion. ;-)

A first date is a simple "get to know you" and I would normally invite you for coffee or an evening at a wine bar, or maybe dinner. I want us to be able to talk and get to know each other a little bit. We can always go hear music, see a movie, go to a gallery, play paintball, go to a street festival or a Bears game...or whatever makes sense for the two of us...the next time we get together.