*** Update *** I'm not really a felon! It's just a funny screenname!

I like kittehs. And girly music. But I'm not gay. Really.

My new obsession is Flash Mobs. I so want to be in one.

I have bad taste in music and movies. If you don't like it, don't bother telling me 'cuz I really won't care about your opinion.

I'm a guy...that means I like sports and meat. But at the same time, I don't know anything about guns or cars. And I don't kill things. I think people that do are dumb. If I see a spider in my house, I catch it and let it go outside.

I don't drink or do drugs. In fact, I've never even tried a ciggarette. When I was a kid, a buddy of mine and I tried smoking a grapevine once. But we decided that was dumb, so we just got drunk instead. Note that I stopped drinking at some point after that event. ;-)

I worship the following: The Dallas Cowboys, The Go-Go's, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket.

I secretly want to be a black guy so I could know what it would be like to be cool.

I'm anti cell phone, anti my.space/facebook, and I don't even know what twitter is.

I have more degrees than you do. :-)

I have no idea how to dress, and have no concept of what's in style or not. I need serious help.

I'm happiest when I'm in bed.

When it comes to food, I'm very low maintenance. It's both a curse and a blessing. I think frozen Stouffer's lasagna is better than any lasagna I've ever had in any Italian restaurant. So it's too bad that I can't appreciate quality food, but it's good that I don't feel the need to pay more than what food is worth.

I can cook one thing: Spaghetti. Of course, I'm not counting toast or pancakes or stuff like that. Also, you will not like my spaghetti; apparently I'm the only one that does.

Nothing makes me madder than bad customer service. However, if someone cut off my penis, that would probably make me madder.

I prefer hot tea over coffee.

I get my internet feelings hurt easily.

Over the last year, I've decided that I like modern music better than the music I grew up with. Maybe I'm just tired of it 'cuz I listened to it for so long. I hear people my age saying that today's music is such crap, and it bugs me because there is a ton of really, really great music being made today. Am I trying to not be old? Maybe. Oh well. When I went and saw Katy Perry in concert, not only was I the oldest person there, I was the tallest. :-)

I wonder if anyone is going to read this?

I really believe I should be king of the world.

I think that all eyes look the same and all babies look the same.

This is the first "about me" I've ever written.

Did you know that the CEO of Lifelock got his identity stolen? Five times. Just thought that was kinda funny.

I panic whenever I read any formal document that contains dollar signs. Show me a Banach space or a RAID 5 array, and I'm fine. Show me my escrow statement and I want to sell my house and rent an apartment. And I really don't know what escrow is. I think it's dumb.

I like to go see live bands at bars or clubs. The last person I bought a drink was the singer of a local band I like. And that was like 10 months ago.

I think the two most genius websites on the intrawebs are www.fark.com and www.icanhascheezburger.com. You should go there and spend mindless hours.

I try very hard not to speak with an accent.

I hate the sound of my own voice. But I think most people hate their own voices, so I'm ok with it.

I still cry when I think about 9/11. But I also cry when I watch a lot of Buffy episodes, so...

I think people lie to me when they say I have a nice smile.

I love to dive, but I live in Dallas, and there's not nearly enough ocean around here.

If you're gonna talk to me, then talk to me. Don't expect me to carry the conversation. Contribute as much as I do and attempt to both give and receive, or I will get bored fast. I'm more interested in your brain than your body. Unless you're really hot and stupid.