Boy has this been an experience! I think I would rather walk through hell in gasoline underwear than to rely on the internet for a relationship..lol.I'm defintely not getting any younger and my horse is galloping off into the sunset fast with me on it screaming whoa!Who would have ever thought that with internet dating this would be still so difficult? I swear I would have better luck if i just picked a name at random in the phone book.(I actually tried that once, I think I got someones granny). Even though I have a snowballs chance in a microwave of actually finding whatever the heck a soul mate is, here goes my biography, parts may be made up or exageratted to get your attention..(I'm kidding)So I have a little gray in my goatee and can be slightly (extremely)stubborn at times but I think I'm cute in a Grizzily Adams kind of way..lol.Yes I am difficult some(most) of the time,what guy isn't?But I do make up for it with my romantic side(like bringing you flowers freshly picked(stolen) from the neighbors yard.I am a slightly offbeat 43 year old, very lost southern boy who really hopes the second 43 years doesn't go this fast.I have light brown eyes and dark brown hair, which by the way doesn't come off at night, and a nice set of teeth which also don't come out at night and are not green, yellow or any other color of the rainbow.I have a muscular build, which you can see by the cheesy picture,(forgive me I couldn't find a harley to take my picture on)My greatest accomplishment to date is my two kids, my daughter,who at one time was deathly afraid of guns, is now in the army, and my son who tried his best to add more gray to my head by dragging me on every hellious ride cedar point has, is now enlisted in the marines, and omg I'm a grandpa! I am extremely proud of both of them and I am amazed at how they endured some very trying times to make something very special of themselves.I am divorced and my ex is happily hundreds of miles away,hopefully under house with a bunch of dwarves singing and dancing around it.Soon I will be alone, which means I can resume nude vaccuming and my never ending chemical experiments in a feeble attempt to actually clean something without having to scrub,hey I'm a guy, I'm lazy that way.Can someone explain to me why you use soap to remove soap scum? I have found a very easy way to do laundry, just wear your clothes into the shower, whites can be kind of tricky however with the bleach and all. I also discovered that clorox and ammonia do not play well together and I wouldn't recommend mixing them in the toilet.I found this out after regaining consciousness one fuzzy morning on the bathroom floor.I ran out of vaccum bags and tried to make my own out of a trash bag, it went tragic,it blew the front off the vaccum..unbreakable bag my eye..lol.I also have determined that if given the chance, a vaccum can and will devour its own cord
Anyway, I am and will always be a countryboy,no kidding folks I lived so far back in the woods that the sun set betwixt my house and the road, in a little town of about 400(that is if everybodys home, and the cows are at the barn) in southern North Carolina, and while I'm proud to be a southerner, I'm not one of those who feels that the south will rise again, its like this Jethro, its been 145 years what's the holdup?..lol. I am 6-1 ,yes really I am, I promise if we meet I wont be 5-1. I am 205-210 pounds,depending on if theres any candy in the house,(dang I miss taking the kids trick or treating and then raiding their stash.I only went for the chocolate, candy corn sucks, I think its made out of old candles and ear wax. I spent 12 years as a Ranger in the Army and I had the great fortune of defending this great country not once, but twice, once in operation Just Cause in 1989 in Panama, and second in Operation Gothic Serpent in Somalia. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the young men and women who are or have been in Iraq, and speaking from experience of combat, when they come home they are going to need a lot of support from us all,If in any way any of this sounds appealing to you then please have yourself checked out by a competent psychologist and by all means drop me a line..I will now return you to your regularly scheduled program, allready in progress.Who knows maybe one day hell will actually freeze over and I will actually meet someone on here.Yes my beloved steelers lost,guess I will have to gather my 6 super bowl trophies and laugh like he*l,cause it don't change the fact that WE ARE THE BEST!!Suck on that Cincinnati!

I consider myself quite a catch with my varying interest in parasitic psychology and my keen interest in mule denistry.Couple this with my boyish charles manson looks, my groovy false teeth and you got yourself one fine mess,I mean catch.I lead an active social life with my 7 times a week AA meetings and meetings with my parole officer.That’s right ladies,5 days a week I can only go to and from work,(I’m a grave robber, uhm I mean digger) but on Sat and Sun nights look out baby, I got a whole 4 hours before I have to report in.So whether its a romantic night of drunken cow tipping, or a sensual night of shopplifting down at K-mart(hey they won’t miss anything they are bankrupt anyway) besides nothing keeps a couple together like grand larceny.But a really ideal date would be you, me and heroin, no make that crack,its much cheaper.People seem to think im odd but I don’t agree, its not like I sit around when the lights are out making barnyard animal noises or yell at my make believe cat. Well ok I did it once sue me.My hobbys include collecting roadkill and determining the cause of death, and working on my fully operational meth lab, I just need a thousand boxes of decongestant to get started. My doctors say as long as I avoid alcohol my urge to strip naked and bark and the moon should stop, eventually.Sometime I do think the carpet is talking to me but that has pretty much stopped since they raised my prozac to 8000 mgs.I do aspire to higher, more lofty goals, but after some intense moments I eventually got off the ledge and came back in the window.My health is pretty good considering the shape I'm in, I thought I had lost my hair but I found it, it was on my back the whole time.I have been outbreak free for a week now and the sores have crusted over. Well ladies if a romantic 7 course meal(a six pack of beer and a bag of doritos)sounds good to you, then please call my shrink and locate whatever mental facility I am currently confined to,they say I have to go now and take the purple pill. If you want you can leave a message at the beep………..BEEP!!!
Hey people who live in glass houses shouldn’t walk around nude.
(Just in case there are those who believe this is how I really am, calm down it's just a joke.)See what a lifetime of L.S.D. and draino can do to the human mind?
This is a very special prayer that I wrote for those who have and still serve this great country.
OUR HEAVENLY FATHER,
EMBRACE THOSE HEROES WHO FELL IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM,
COMFORT THOSE VALIANT ONES WHO FOUGHT THE BRAVE FIGHT FOR JUSTICE,
BLESS THOSE WHO STILL STAND AND FIGHT TO THIS DAY IN THE NAME OF HONOR,
PLEASE LORD OPEN THE HEAVENS AND RAIN PEACE UPON THIS EARTH ,
AND WASH AWAY THE STAIN OF WAR FROM THIS WORLD FOREVER.
AMEN.
Never before have so few gave so much for so many. God bless our troops.