Online dating!!! Yay!!!

Hi, thanks for stopping by! Please read my ENTIRE profile.

Apologies up front for my cynicism, but I've tried the humorous approach and it's created nothing for me but frustration. PLEASE realize that I'm one of the funniest/happiest guys you'll ever meet but I feel I'm left with no choice but to change my approach...SO....

PLEASE DO NOT talk to me...

...unless you are READY to SPEAK YOUR MIND. I've had it up to my ears with women who have issues/problems with me (or something I say) only to NOT say anything about it until it becomes TOO LATE! By the time she gets around to saying something about her 'issue', she's ready to call it QUITS and I have NO IDEA there was EVER a problem. Don't be a NINNY!

...unless you are SERIOUS about dating since that's what we're here for. It's a WASTE of my time and that's valuable to me. I didn't join a DATING site to find FRIENDS.

...if you are having issues with your past or have a tendency to develop COLD FEET when it comes to meeting face to face.

...if you are one of those people who will act interested only to turn yourself off like a light. THAT is indicitave of instability. If I wanted a conundrum, I'd have stayed with my EX.

...if you're one of those people who says they're going to do something....and then DOESN'T, because THAT shows utter disrespect.



Well, if you're still reading, then let's sit down for the meat & potatoes...

BTW, no RECENT/DECENT pic = no chance. I have head-to-toe pics of myself posted and fair is fair.

I'm 37, never married, no kids, 6' 1", 220 lbs. and have a few tattoos. I'm an ex-smoker and will not meet someone who is a smoker.

I would like to meet a woman who can laugh at herself the way I laugh at myself. A sense of humor is a MUST. I can make YOU laugh - can you do the same for me? A woman who is genuinely kind-hearted and is as respectful of me as I am of her. A woman who can appreciate a good man when she finds him. Someone who is as comfortable with a night out as she is with a backyard barbecue and a few beers.

I have the wrinkles around my eyes that prove I love to laugh. I love all kinds of humor - both clean and dirty, but (PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING) I absolutely ABHOR racial and ethnic comments or jokes. This is important. If you're one of those people who uses ANY of 'those words' - EVER, then please hit your backspace button now because I'll walk the first time I hear that crap. Let's move into the 21st century, shall we?

Besides my mysterious and alluring eyes I believe that honesty and trustworthiness are two of my best traits, and my mother would kick my butt if she found out I told you a lie.

Now, I'm not looking for a beauty queen - I mean, look at ME! If you ARE a beauty queen, then that's a PLUS! lol I do, however, prefer SLIM/SLENDER women; women who are clean shaven/well-groomed and do not gnaw on their fingers or fingernails. Tattoos and piercings are great, but, sorry, NO breast tats or nose piercings...yuck. ;) Anything else? Bring it on...yeah! lol

I would like to meet a gal between the ages of 29 and 45 - that's eight years in either direction of my own age. I'm looking for a woman who A) doesn't want/have kids OR B) has kids that are grown and gone (or close to it).

It will be a BIG bonus if you can spell most words, have decent grammar and possess the ability to form sentences and not speak/write in broken English. Sorry, but if your messages require me to 'decipher' them, I won't.

If you don't fall within the above description you shouldn't take it personally, nor should you send me a message (as many have done) telling me how picky I am being. Frankly, if you don't like my profile, then you shouldn't waste your time looking at it.

I am confident, respectful, decisive, emotionally/mentally secure, & genuinely happy with my life. I am at the point where I would enjoy sharing my life with someone who has these same qualities, but I certainly don't expect it to happen overnight...or at the rate it's been going - ever. lol

I'm at an age where I can't afford to settle for second-rate or something less than what I really want...and you shouldn't be willing to, either. Never gonna find the right girl without setting a few standards, right? Frankly, all I want is for ONE woman to prove to me that not all women are crazy! lol

If you are my ideal mate, then please don't hesitate to contact me because I've been waiting for you for a very long time. If not, then I wish you the best of luck in your search. Thank you again for your time!

**If you contact me, please put the word 'Dack' in the subject line so I know you've read my entire profile. Messages without 'Dack' will be UNread/Deleted. Messages typed in CAPS LOCK will also be deleted. Thx!

We could take a drive through the country, go to a winery or brewery, a car show, bowling, the Arch, dinner, the zoo, a bar with a good band that isn't too loud. A picnic would be nice, miniature golf, hiking or fishing. We could go to a comedy club for a few laughs...What would you like to do?