Advance warning...not a woman for the faint of heart!

I'm old, ugly and poor.I consider myself to be of average build; there is no truth to the rumor that my girdle is recognized as a territorial government! However I do have a build that proves my cooking can be trusted!( NEVER trust a skinny cook!)I'm completely unloveable and probably smell funny.When I walk into a room the MICE jump on chairs! I look like I could bench-press a 1958 Chrysler. My only possible saving graces are a sense of humor-(possibly the last one left on the whole internet!)and a fairly even temper(I'm always mad).

Actually I'm an OK looking ol retired blue collar/farm girl. I don't guess I'll spook your horses or make your grandkids cry. But every other woman here is holding herself out to be "attractive", "funny", etc. I decided to be different.
Despite my wry worldview and somewhat twisted sense of humor, I am;
Kind(most of the time)
A smartmouth
Caring
Difficult
Honest
Aggravating
Loyal
Stubborn
Resourceful
ADD
Housebroken
An acquired taste...but I tend to grow on people (like moss grows on the north side of trees;))

I'm interested in dating to find a committed longterm relationship.This does not HAVE to include marriage or cohabitation but it does need to be a "relationship", not some kind of casual sex deal. I enjoy and value sex too much to ever see it as casual recreation.
As for the "undecided" about children...obviously at age 55, having children of my own is clearly a ship that has sailed. I only wanted to convey that I am not opposed to YOUR kids and or grandkids. Ideally they are grown and on their own,but if not,it doesn't necessarily represent an automatic "dealbreaker".

A long walk on a beach on a mountain in the moonlight by a campfire, where we watch unicorns romp under a double rainbow and Andrea Bocelli sings "Con Te Partiro"...
Yeah right.
Now are we considering an initial meeting as a separate event from a first date? Personally, I'd just as soon keep that first meeting simple, coffee or a soda at a public location reasonably convenient to both. If we like each other,THEN we set up a "date". That might be anything fom whitewashing roosters to checking out an art exhibit. My standards regarding sex are absolutely my own and I make them up as I go.For the most part I avoid first date sex,because women are held to a differnt standard than men in that regard. If you don't like it,write your Congressman.