In a dead-end job, seeks crazy **** for co-dependency, hustling, and shouting matches. I enjoy smoking, drinking, petty theft, pornography and self-righteous indignation. I'm the kind of guy that won't play by the rules of society and yet will tell his employees that they need to come in on a Saturday. I believe that business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

I love my life. I can bake 30 minute cookies in 38 minutes. I discovered that a snow-mobile won't melt in the sun. I think with sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine(BAD IDEA!). I know where Atlantis is. I discovered that a very small cucumber is called a gherkin. I believe that if the plural of mouse is mice, then the plural of spouse ought to be spice. Whether you are stuck in a routine or looking to add more spice to your life, I will come to your rescue.


I win arguments by bursts of irrational shouting like I see from the talking heads on TV every day. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by memorizing useless facts and chuckling at my own mean-spirited agenda. I'm shy, clingy, boring and terrible in bed... Come on, you know you want me. If you don't take your self too seriously and are a creator rather than a consumer, clever rather than cool, provocative rather than boring, social rather than introspective, then I would like to hear from you.

I'm looking for a fun evening that doesn't end in a puddle of vomit or at the emergency room.

(Please don't ask "what do you like to do for fun" or you're going to turn off my INTERESTED BUTTON real fast.)

Somewhere in public, so I can check with my binoculars from my car that you aren't a 40 year old balding man trying to get in my pants.