I am told that I am very unassuming. And, on occasion, even charming. And when I write text messages I always make an effort to use proper punctuation, spelling and grammar. I'm friendly to old people and cats, and I'm pretty smart. Some times.

The internet is far from my preferred method of getting a date and I long for the good old days when it was still weirder to go on a blind date with someone you met on a computer than it is to just strike up a conversation with somebody you think is attractive then ask them to lunch... Guess I'm getting old... Maybe it's just Vancouver... who knows. Anyway, here I am. And at the very least I get to write some stupid sh!t...

I sing out loud a lot. Not very loud, but if that sort of thing irritates you... And I hate gratuitous quotation marks. When ever I see a sign that says something like: Caution "Trucks Turning", Please Remember To "Close Door", Joe's "Moving" Service or "Open", I want to take out a marker and write -Friedrick Nietzsche, 1887- underneath it. If you're unsure when it is appropriate to use quotation marks please "don't" bother me. Maybe that seems a little anal, but seriously- the topic is covered extensively over several years in our country's public education system which is both universal and free of charge. Also, if after reading this you notice that I've made some sort of minor spelling or grammar error please don't bother pointing it out to me in some sort of "Aha- you hypocrite" sort of way... Because I don't care- It's the incorrect quotation marks that bother me.

Maybe if you're clever, witty, a little weird in a good way, not a snob or somebody who derives self worth through being a judgmental b!tch, creative, reasonably polite, and have something to say for your self other than talking about your job and gossiping you should drop me a message... Actually don't. You can do way better than me. But if you know any tramps send 'em my way- Man's got needs you know. Also, I think it's lame that everyone is trying to meet somebody fun, smart and attractive. I'm willing to give people who are boring, ugly and stupid a chance too. In fact- I've just had an epiphany- smart, fun attractive people are full of themselves. I'm smart fun and attractive and look at all the sh!t I just wrote on here...

Okay... going to be a bit less facetious from here in. I'm really not in to materialism- it's a huge turn off for me. I like having some stuff, but I'm really not in to flashy cars and expensive condos and all that sh!t. I'm from a small town on the island and as much as I love living in the city I also really love getting away from it and spending some time out in the woods. That's not to say I'm some great out doors man who goes on two month expeditions though. I like being spontaneous. Old boats are one of my favourite things. I like people who are grounded and lucid, but know how to laugh at everything. And I can't stand cocaine (or hard drugs in general)- I don't care how casually or occasionally you use it- If you do, I don't want to meet you. Also, I am tired of talking about my self...

Okay, just one more thing- I'm really bad at responding to emails on this thing in a timely manner, because I... you know... Have a life and sh!t. So sorry if you message me and it takes like ten days for me to right back. Also... I'm really not into endless email exchanges... A few is fine, but after that point a five minute phone call will probably suffice to find out if we really want anything to do with each other beyond that. Don't mean to come off as a****(although most of the previous body of this text would seem to indicate otherwise), but I'm not going to live to be a thousand.

I'm up for most things except the following: 1)Going to a movie. 2)Any sort of situation where I will be forced to pretend that I like your shitty art/poetry/music/band/whatever. 3)Any situation where I will be forced to share my shitty art, poetry, music, interpretive dance, or miming with you.