Let's start by saying i'm pretty much going to admit right up front i'm a liar, i'm ugly, boring and old. Please expect nothing more than that. So, when i actually show up as who i REALLY am, you will be so surprised you will sleep with me within five minutes, and later, brag about it to your friends.
So that's how to approach me: okay, you've heard of "out of the box" types? Okay, that's a box to me. Think outside THAT box. Okay, keeeeeeep going. One More. MMM.... one more. Okay, that one!
(opens lid, and suddenly...)

We could re-enact the movie "the Notebook", in which you can play a senile old woman who is visited by a guy who tells her a story that is clearly slanted in his direction since she's apparently senile. But just then you realize he is just making it all up and thinking "...why not just cruise the old folks homes for these rich old Alzheimer girlfriends with money--who knows, right?" and then someone yells "CUT"!

I'll be in my trailer.