(I'm just going to copy my okc profile and paste it here)




My Self-Summary:

I'm not going to spill my life story on here and talk about how different I am than every other guy. I don't see the purpose in listing all sorts of favorable qualities about myself, or rambling on about what makes me better than the previous profile you visited. Anyone can ponder up a few adjectives and brag about themselves.

Anyways, the truth is, we all mask our insecurities with illogical reasoning. In reality, we are alike in more ways than we are different. It's the ignorant rejection of that fact which keeps us all so distant. Besides, talk is cheap. I would rather make my own assumption of someone as opposed to them feeding me distorted truths about their personalities. I never understood the point in describing yourself as "trustworthy" or "honest." No one in their right mind would describe themselves as the opposite, but obviously not everyone is trustworthy and honest. Okay, rant over.

I'm originally from NYC, so excuse me if I'm not exactly enthusiastic about living in butts****ville, Ohio. Although, I do attempt to try and make the best of it. For starters, I work full time and I go to school full time as well. I plan on getting my Masters as soon as I'm done with my undergrad and probably my PHD after that. I guess you can say I'm ambitious, but that would probably be an understatement. I enjoy skiing, airhorning people, taking Kaiser to the dog park, eating pomegranates when it's season, and all sorts of other cool stuff.

UPDATE: I guess I need to specify because apparently, a high percentage of males in Ohio are complete bums and don't have jobs, nor a place of their own, or a car, etc.

Yes, I have a car. Yes, I have my own place. Yes, I have a career. I am completely independent and have been so since 18 when I joined the military.

Now, do I require the same from my counterpart? I guess that's circumstantial. However, it would be nice if you weren't a complete failure in life.

UPDATE2: Okay, I don't mean to sound like an ***hole, but you overweight/obese/fat women need to quit sending me messages. No offense, but I'm not into BBWs. I have nothing against you guys, it's just a preference. And, I don't know what it is about me that compels you cows to message me, but please leave me alone. Thanks.


What I’m doing with my life:

I'm an exotic dancer at a local night club.

UPDATE1: Okay, I gave you geniuses the benefit of the doubt that you wouldn't actually think I was indeed a male stripper. But, of course, the "brightest bulbs in the box" have practically forced me to clarify that I am not. So, for all you morons that sent me a message telling me how "nasty" I am because of what I do, I hope you feel as dumb as you actually are. Oh, and ignorant also. Way-to-generalize an entire profession. Numbnuts.

Since that headache is out of the way... what DO I actually do? I'm a linguist/analyst. I use my language skills, among other skills, to help catch the "bad guys." Yes, terrorists.



I’m really good at:

receiving speeding tickets and getting pulled over in my batmobile. Now, one would say, the two aren't mutually exclusive. If you're good at receiving speeding tickets, doesn't that imply you're also good at getting pulled over?

Well, not too long ago, I received a speeding ticket without being pulled over in West Carrolton. The traffic lights with cameras apparently measured my distance from one light to the other and realized I got from one light to the other in about half the time it SHOULD have taken me.

In conclusion, receiving tickets and getting pulled over can be mutually exclusive :)



The first things people usually notice about me:

Honestly, no clue. I've never asked someone what the first thing they noticed about me was.

I really believe this question should be reworded to: "What is the first thing you WANT people to notice about you" because I see tons of vain replies to this question such as:

"My wonderful blue eyes! My amazing smile! My huge funbags! My nice long legs!"

Obviously, when you broadcast to the world what the first thing you want people to notice about you, they'll notice it....




My favorite books, movies, music, and food:

Warning: If you list Twilight as your favorite book/movie, I will immediately X out of your page. Twilight is the epitome of what is wrong with our society and how it ignorantly depicts love, women, and their role in a relationship. So, all you morons that eat that dogsh*tup and teach it to your daughters are only contributing to an anti-feminist movement. Good job morons.

Moving on, I don't get much time to read for leisure anymore due to the heavy amount of reading I have to do for work and school. However, I recently read Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" & "Atlas Shrugged." Both books were extremely intriguing. Because of her ingenious philosophy of Objectivism, Rand is infamous for converting "liberals" to "conservatives" (although I don't prescribe to any sort of labels, I think it's intellectually dishonest to do so). Anyways, they're probably 2 of my favorite books ever. (which says a lot, I don't read horsesh*tlike Twilight and Dan Brown)

I like to listen to Celine Dion loud as all hell. I also sing a long like a flaming homosexual because Celine Dion is more important than my sexuality.

Is there anything superior to indian food? I doubt it. And, Italian Food is extremely overrated. Oh, and if you eat at Olive Garden, you might as well also eat fresh dogshit. I'm sure it's similar.

Go streaking in the corn fields? Tip cows? What else is there to do in Ohio?


The six things I could never do without:

Caffeine (coffee, pills, coke, any form... i'm addicted!), bottled water, Got2b spiked styling gel, Fat free raspberry vinaigrette salad dressing, and Quiznos.

That's all I can think of right now. Plus 5 is a better number than 6. Who the heck is the spam moron that decided on 6 anyways?

Also, why the heck do some of you list obvious things like air, water, shelter, etc. I'm pretty sure NONE of us can live without those. I guess creativity isn't very common on this site.

UPDATE1: Judging from the past few messages I received, some of you beastly alien women probably CAN go without air/water.

UPDATE2: Aside from air/water/shelter, what the heck is the point in listing cell phones, computers, ipods, etc? Everyone and their mother has a god damn cell phone. Even grandmas. (They have those freakin' Jitterbugs).

I spend a lot of time thinking about
your mother.

Politics. Yeah, I know... lame right? But, it boggles my mind how people can be so ignorant, uneducated, and oblivious to issues that affect their lives so greatly. For example, there are morons in this country PROTESTING because Barack and the democrats are trying to PROVIDE us with healthcare. Seriously? So, if God was a politician and while he was creating the Earth, would you numbnuts protest him providing us with air? water? food? shelter? Losers.

Also, these are the same dipshits that supported Bush and his genocidal "war on terror" which has resulted in over a million Iraqis/Afghans being murdered, countless more injured, and even more displaced.

So, let me get this straight. These ****nuts are protesting because we're "wasting" money on healthcare... but they supported/support funding a pointless war that has had a severely negative impact on our economy and will cost us trillions in the long run? What.the.****

Also, it's amusing how people prescribe to labels such as "conservative/liberal" or "right/left." Rather, it's sad. How can a single adjective describe ALL of your stances? Unless you're a mindless drone... oh wait... :)


On a typical Friday night I am


at home, reading, researching, and all sorts of other nerdy geek shit.

Unless, there's a decent movie coming out. I almost always catch them on opening night. (Warning: If you think Transformers is a good movie, X out of my page ASAP and please refrain from contacting me)

Sometimes, I go out and drink at a local bar/club. I don't know how to dance very well, so I just get shitfaced and do the most ridiculous thing possible. However, that does seem to work though. Especially when I bust out my Slumdog dance.


You should message me if:

you can type a coherent sentence. I'm not going to waste my time deciphering messages like "dAnq p@p1, y0u isz s3xy."