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Well I get teased alot about how much I have in my profile...I am not gonna say sorry cause it is from the heart...i have decided that what is good for us is not what we want what will be real or easy is not a challenge so we might like it for a minute but then we get bored easily and move on with no explanation or if there is even a reason we are either never told or never say...i have talked to quite a few "nice" guys on here and made some great friends from them and they have given me great advice...and one I thought I could see myself with longterm but it never seems to work out the way I think it should...i even changed the "type" that I usually go for and that didnt work out for me either...so I am still waiting and waiting...maybe it is by choice...after being single so long...who knows!!!

i always thought i would know, just know when "the one" walked into my life but for some reason it is not as easy as i thought it would be...are the guys whom i have fallen for in the past are they just accidents or learning steps in this life? I have truly felt something for them...i will admit that i kinda like someone that contacted me through here and lord knows the last person turned out to be a liar... and it is hard for me to admit cause of course i have just talked to him via the phone and email and we havent met...so of course i am a little bit scared...what if he turns out to be no good, but then what if he is the one? how do you know and how do you decided who to trust and who not to trust?

how can someone be in love with someone they have not met?

I think that it is awesome that someone could think they love me but this is what scares me the most because they are not the first to tell me this and it has happened before, love is something that is given freely and should never be taken for granted I dont know how to handle men when they tell me this and they have not spent anytime with me getting to know me the real me the one that I am when no one is looking not that it is any different than when i am being watched...but i want someone who will look below the surface and see the beauty that is in my heart and love it...nurture it and want to protect it...because the beauty that you and other men see will fade in time and it will be the inner beauty that will outshine the shell...

you know most people and even females are guilty of liking the outer shell more than the inner beauty even me...you have to be initially attracted to someone to be able to look them in the eye and wake up to them for the rest of your life...so that was a little if nothing else hypocritical of me...but there is someone for everyone...we have to believe that, God never meant for us to be alone...or else the world would not continue...Right...

yes once you love someone you should be ok with the fading of the outer beauty and should love them no matter what...i am sure everyone has their own opinion about these matters...

I could go on all nite...but I think that is enough to ponder for tonight...i really like this site...not only do I get to blast my thoughts out there but people from all walks of life respond with their opinion and let me tell you I appreciate every email i receive with all your advice...

Thanks for reading my thoughts...and responding to them...i deleted a lot of my words so if it doesnt make much sense sorry...but now i am no longer hurt and i havent given up on men...out there is someone who will be mine and me his...and to be honest he probably is right in my eyesight...and i dont know it...

i must tell you the latest thing i have found out about myself...somebody should have told me this a long time ago or at the very least told me to go and check it out...this past weekend i got to go to a bball game...NBA Hawks vs Bulls...yes the Bulls won in O/T 104 to 106 i think was the final...and at the same time the Cowboys were playing the Falcons...and seein how Philips Arena is near Georgia Dome...we had to park with that crowd and walk through the tailgating parties...OMG why havent i been to a football game yet you ask...well i went when i was a litle girl and seen the Oilers (Earl Campbell was playing then) you see....anyway I have decided that i have neglected my inner sports child...and need to see what this tailgating is all about and go to an actual game too...cause what i didnt say was that we also went to see "the nutcracker" play and while it was very good and i liked it...i had more fun at the basketball game...but i think that the football would have been even better...so i am guessing that the man that wins my heart best like football...hahaha!!

Update 12/5/08
I had a thought a few minutes ago after reading someones profile where they start out being very witty, then go into what a nice guy they are and I am sure that they are but it made me think what women want is a nice guy but one that looks like a bad boy with bad boy tendencies who will be faithful and loyal...but also exciting...at least that was my thought...but who am I to say one way or the other seeing as I have not had much luck in the dating game...oh I am dating and there for a minute I was lucky enough to have an actual boyfriend...ooooopsss it was three in a row but they lasted no more than two or three months then it wasnt moving anywhere and well maybe i am too impatient but i need it to keep moving forward or it falls flat...

-------!!!------- Put this on your
-------!!!------- page if you
---!!!!!!!!!!!!-- know someone in the
-------!!!------- armed forces or to
-------!!!------- show your support
-------!!!------- and respect to all
-------!!!------- our troops.

I probably should find a forum for this topic...Internet Dating...long distance relationships...this leaves way too much room for mistakes...i need to jump on the soapbox or get the hell off huh...dont take my ranting for cynicism (spelling...??) I dont hate men...quite the opposite...but why do we want the ones that dont want us but dont want the ones that do???