I feal that its importand to be completely honest with all of you and let you know where I'm coming from. Just got released from the Pokey. Did a few years for trying to exotic animals through customs in my pants. It really is addicting! While in prison I was made to wear a wig and short skirt by my cell mate and I don't plan on doing that anymore so don't ask.

Simply stated, what I'm looking for is a woman with most of her teeth. Also, girls who aren't to hairy. If you have a lot of body hair it can get caught in my zipper or something. That could be embarassing. Non smelly girls are a must. There's nothing worse than a girlfriend who can out smell my cars airfreshener. Oh yes, I don't mind curvy women at all. But if you will only fit in the back of my truck it won't work out since I like holding hands on long trips.Also if you make a loud zipping sound when you walk it would scare my dogs.Homeless girls are cool too. I never have to drive far to take them home.I think that makes me a HOBOSEXUAL. Me: I'm just a white dude who would like to come over and eat your food and watch your tv. If your good at the lovin thing I will cook for you. I'm planning on doing a lot of sailing this summer and maybe you could come and help and I could yell at you for getting everything wrong. I like telling jokes and if you don't have a sense of humor then you better be good at the lovin. Just because I burn "I love you" into your front lawn and move into my camper accross the street is no reason to be getting a restraining order. If you have cable and a full fridge write me.;)



NOTE: I don't mind that you live a ways away, but please understand my bicycle is old and has a flat tire not to mention I'll be carrying a plastic bag full of pennies for our date. Can we meet somewhere in between and can you atleast show up?




Seriously, I'm just here for the same reasons you are. Just tired of being alone. I love to play hookey and fish often. I value earned respect and loyalty above all. Enjoy family life and have really been missing that in my life. I love to design and build houses. If you ever could take an interest in that, great!

I've never been married but have lived with a girlfriend for many years. It was about the same as being married. We're still friends. I don't have a problem being married, it just never happened. I'm 40 now and have been alone for quite some time. I really don't want to spend the next half of my life alone and I have so many things I want to do but not by myself.

Maybe a strip club together would be nice or maybe a trip to the zoo for some monkey spanking. Bad Monkeys! Let's go dancing,cuz I like to dance like I'm having a full bodied dry heave. Maybe we could take a trip to the prison to visit Mom.