I do not have a tribal band or barb wire tattoo, I have never worn a visor upside down or at all for that matter (maybe if I ever work at a casino, but that is a long shot), I do not and will not ever own a leather jacket, I hate to high five, and I liked Belltown better when it was dangerous. I like to pretend I know what I am talking about. When I am not spending my time being too quiet I am spending my time antagonizing friends and family. I like to do just about anything, but I don't always do something. I am on a crusade to rid the world of stupidity, which may result in my own demise. I am too shy for my own good, which makes my need to be the center of attention such a weird personality trait (a humble Leo if there is such a thing). I am a walking contradiction and I love it, so screw you. My favorite phrase is 'I get it, wait no I don't'. I like irony and misusing the definition of it. I like to do things when people are not looking. I am also a firm believer in that you don't know someone until you take a road trip with them. I am easily distracted and tend to aimlessly multi-task. I tend to repeatedly use words and phrases and see how long it takes to catch on or keep alive. For instance, the word jackass is a long time favorite of mine and is grossly underused. I also wander like an old man from one group of friends, or activity. I am a big fan of new people and interesting/funny stories (i.e. I once accidentally shaved off my dogs nipple) and I pay a great deal of attention to the little things. If/when I throw a party it ends up being an odd collection of people, but I think that describes me pretty well at the end of the day..

So, I like funny or the appreciation for funny. I have a real sick sense of humor and get along best with confident people who have a solid idea of who they are. I am a real smartass who likes to push people sometimes. I can take what I dish out though. No princesses, no drama, if something is on your mind be able to say it and be able to take an honest answer. Literally and metaphorically be able to roll up your sleeves and hang out with the guys.

My idea of a fun time is spent with anyone with a sharp tongue and a mischievous mind. Preferably someone classy who swears and tells dirty jokes under their breath. I have a problem with agendas, whether it be simple planning or subtle grand plans, so right out the gate I would say coffee or a beer is a good start.