I live the lifestyle of a washed up rockstar, minus the drugs and alcohol. My days consist of kicking down doors, signing contracts, stomping on the throats of my competitors, and answering complicated questions, such as - "What's the meaning of life?", "Why is the sky blue?", and my most popular question "Are all Jewish people rich?". Finally when my day is done, I take out the trash. Literally, because I'm the janitor as well.

When I'm not working, I enjoy day trips to the moon, hijacking cars, shaking hands, and kissing babies. Oh, and the occasional stopping and smelling of roses.

Speaking of kissing babies, I enjoy watching children (not in a super-creeper, pedophile kind of way). I think they are hilarious and interesting to observe. They seem to be drawn to me as well. Maybe it's because they like stealing my baseball cap, or maybe it's because I have candies in my pocket. (again, not a super-creep kind of way. I'm just attracted to the taste of candy.)

I like to wear t-shits. Sometimes I wear a hat. At times, I dont wear anything at all. Once a day I get naked and let warm water roll all over my body - then I add bubbles to make it more interesting. If you do this on a daily basis as well, there's a good chance we are compatible.

I live to work hard, and work hard to help other people. Eventually I want to make a nature documentary - just like my hero Sir David Attenborough.

In conclusion, I want a girl with a similarily regular lifestyle and interests. Since I'm not perfect, I have high expectations that you will be flawed as well. If you think I will be able to tolerate your snorting under heavy laughter, perpetual phone calls, and/or how fat you look in that dress, message me. I look forward to meeting you all. Thanks!

bk breakfast - classy!