You know that moment when “nothing” is happening? Just you and the person you adore, together on the patio, waiting for the beer-butt chicken to finish on the Weber, watching the neighborhood amble by, listening to the saw of the cicadas high in the tree nearby? Catching the eye of your partner, feeling your heart grow warm because you know how much you love them, stuttering to answer when their eyes catch you back and they say “what?” And realizing that you have absolutely everything you want right there, in that moment.

The learning is in the journey for all of us. Mine has been challenging, interesting, rewarding, enlightening. The most recent years have been my years of work, learning to understand myself, learning to explore my past, learning to look in, not out. Learning to be grateful for what I do have and not fearful about what I don’t have. Learning to ask for what I really, really want, what I believe I need, and learning to find the strength to embrace myself, to stay standing and keep moving forward when the universe says you can’t have that.

I’m a pretty decent fella, not perfect, but a good guy who is figuring out what makes him tick and learning to take good care of himself.

There’s a lot of positives. I live in a brick bungalow that my son calls the hippie house that is everything I want at this moment and it’s full of things I treasure. I’m a really good daddy, my two older sons are doing well in college and my little girl (almost 5!) is an absolute joy and a reminder of all the blessings in my life. I take good care of people. I’m loving, nurturing. I’m smart, I’m funny. I treasure life’s simple moments and know that sometimes you can find as much joy in making lasagna together as you can at a Red Rocks concert. I love dancing in the kitchen and spooning for a nap feels so good, so nice, that it can almost make me feel guilty.

I tend to think of myself as a homebody, but then I remember I spent two weeks in Uganda last year and slept one night under a mosquito net near the Congo border. So adventure is no stranger.

I’m wishing and working for someone special to share me, share moments, share lives. My daughter is a priority right now, I share custody, and I know that a lot of women looking for partners just say, NO KIDS! I’m not wealthy, I have two sons in college and a little girl and there isn’t any extra money for trips to Cancun or Paris. There’s no Ferrari in the garage. There’s no hot tub. My life is simple because I like it that way and material things have never called to me.

True intimacy is what I’m seeking. Emotional, intellectual, physical. I want to feel safe and I want to feel loved and I want to give that in return. I want to finish work and smile a tired smile because I get to come home to everything I want. That’s a ton to ask and I’m not willing to settle for less. And I am strong enough to accept that I might never get that, and to keep discovering and keep building my own peace, my own happy, alone. But I’m also brave enough to keep looking.

Something simple. Meet for a coffee or a beer or maybe a bite to eat somewhere with a patio. A nice walk along a pretty trail. Hit a gallery and discuss/argue about the art, a good way to sound each other out. :)