I'm a super attractive natural bald man that lives in a bar where I meet and flirt with all kinds of women.

I'm super funny, have a huge girthy penis and love to cuddle. I'm also pretty much a genius and very modest as well.

I'm looking for a super hot girl with nice boobs. She can't be over five foot eight because I'm intimidated by tall women. Sorry tallies, look somewhere else. You have to be in pretty good shape. I need you to help me walk when I fall down and hurt myself (which happens more than I'd like)

If you are not interested in international voyeurism, intimate conversation or unusual satisfaction then please don't contact me.



I realized long ago that I was a loser and then I realized that I could be a beautiful loser. I'm certainly not a cog in the wheel of industry by any means but I like a woman who works. I would be a wicked stay at home dad.

I live a dream life and dream whole lifetimes when I sleep. Which is often.

I am unique in the fact that if you connect the dots on my backne (back acne) it will form the trans am eagle. Sooooo cool.

I only like Lady Gaga so be prepared for a Poker Face marathon when you are driving me around. (I don't own a car)

Seriously, you are probably reading this and thinking, "this guy is perfect" but to be honest, I'm not perfect, I have flaws. For instance, I am way to caring, honest, generous and sexy for my own good. It's like I'm so hot (outside and inside) that I'm too much for most girls and they just can't keep up.


As well, I'm pretty intimidating in bed when I do my sexual aardvark imitation. If you can get past all the snorting sounds you are in for a heavenly delight.
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MUST DANCE LIKE A CRAZY!

If you are a (preferably Philipina or Mexican but am open to all exotic beauties) sex fiend then I'll meet you in a hotel for a night you will never forget.

If you are a sexy successful woman looking for snappy conversation and belly laughs then you can pick me up and take me to a fancy dinner.

If you are an artist then we can go and get drunk somewhere cheap and then stumble through the streets holding hands and dancing like freaks.

I can't promise that I'll put out. Sometimes I just don't feel it with people and it's best just to be friends.

You will have to be the aggressive one though as I hate to make the first move.