I've got a decent job that I don't hate, a roof over my head, and mouth that doesn't know when to shut up. Why quit when you're ahead when you can dig that hole deeper? I may be a jerk, but you'll always know where you stand with me. Preferably two steps back and to the left so you don't get hit by a stray punch meant for me. I'm hot-tempered about inconsequential things and laid back about the the things that matter.

I like whiskey. I like reading trashy, brain cell killing fiction and music wise, I listen to a little of everything but I really like alt country like Son Volt or Shurman or Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. Pop and modern country can suck it. The 80's will live forever! I like camping but hate being dirty. The most beautiful car ever made was the 1972 Plymouth Roadrunner. If you took away my internet connection, I would probably get the DT's.

Kinda shallow description, I know. But I'd rather horrify you in person than on the internet.

I'm never going to be famous or rich, I watch football but don't love it, and don't want to be in da club hunna dolla bills yo. Low key and divey is where I'm at. I'm looking for the last person I'm ever going to say I love you to. Not a tall order, should happen any day now.

Yep. Any. Day.

*and if you hadn't guessed by the screen name, that's half Asian, half Norwegian.

I'm currently compiling a list of online cliches and their true meanings.

1. "living life with no regrets" - Means you do nothing and thus have nothing to regret or that you are an amoral sociopath who stops at nothing or no one to satisfy your cruel whims.

2. "I'm a strong 'insert particular race or cultural affiliation' woman" - Means you're a raging b*tch who uses your race or culture to justify your outrageous actions and behavior.

3. If "Crazy B1tch" is your favorite song, you are in fact, a crazy b1tch. No, it's not cute. Yes, you are a waste of oxygen.

4. "Tired of the drama" - You are actually not tired of the drama. If drama was a drug, you would be sucking d1ck for it in an alley. King Kong ain't got sh1t on your drama. You've invalidated the laws of thermodynamics by creating drama out of nothing. Melrose Place watches you.

I seem to have knack for getting blocked by the women I contact on this site. I don't know whether I should be proud of that or ashamed.

Dates are for high school students and gold digging whores. Let's hang out, coffee or drinks, lie about ourselves and see whether we can stand the sight of one another. Romancing a complete stranger is stupid. That's for the second date. Maybe we could go to an old folks home and watch old people fall down. Nothing's funnier than that.

Old people.

Falling.

Or cooking, we could cook and hang out.

But come on! Falling old people!