Just to clarify........don't let the cheesy pics fool you, I am a virgin (you name it, I haven't done it). I have decided that I will save everything for my theoretical wife (lol......"theoretical wife".....where do I get this $hit, seriously?). Ideally, you would be a virgin like me, but after opening my eyes to the real world, that seems to be like asking for a bit too much. If you are dwelling on those past experiences, and you see nothing wrong with them, then there is no way we can have a relationship. I would take it as a punch in the face to hear a potential mate tell me about how great her other partners were, and how they were making love, etc. Sorry, that's just me. Please don't think I am judgemental, because I am not, and in theory, I can be interested in any girl regardless of her past history.


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let's just say I'm an enigma wraped in an enigma placed in a Wal-Mart shopping bag.

Tips for singles.....

- NEVER go shopping at IKEA........way too many couples enjoying themselves through gentle kisses and hand-holding, as they discuss the nuansses of decorating a home, lol, very depressing (for us singles at least)!
- Never buy in bulk, who are you going to share all those strawberries and whipped cream with before they go bad?

Suggestions for non-singles.....

- Somehow indicate that you have boyfriend as early as possible, save us all some time, save your honour as well.........you damn flirt!!! (lol)
- Get off this site! Your slowing down the servers! Go play frisbee with your lover (as I would!.......no, not like a dog for you to make me fetch the thing! But rather a mutual throwing of the disc, and the ocassional rolling in the grass together, etc)

Advice for the eldery.....

- Drive faster dammit!
- Retire early and free up some jobs for us young bucks and doughs

I seldom get responses when I message……………here is an example; Contact file # 00213 ; I once asked a girl what kind of a dog she had on a picture in her profile, I honestly wanted to know, and was not thinking of any funny business........she decided to ignore me............that’s when I realized what kind it was!......a Bit©h!..........not the dog of course.....but the lady. (LOL). I can make something funny out of anything, I am that good! LoL.......the Bit©h. A side note to this..........I hope you respond if I ask you what kind of dog you have in your profile, or the latter text may apply to you, and I really really really don't want that to happen :(

Things I have noticed due to Plentyoffish...

- Drug usage seems to be a problem in Oshawa
- "Prefer not to say" = Yes
- "Activity Partner" does not mean someone to do do arts and crafts with
- Jewish girls reply the most
- People like to hide behind computers
- Many Child & Youth workers and drug councellors take drugs, or the ones that do tend to propogate to POF
- "Quid pro Quo" seems to be the way things are going
(more to come)

Weirdest things to happen from Plentyoffish...

- One girl told me she wished I would kill myself
- Sending a girl a really nice and thoughtfull message only to be ignored.........then finding out that I would be paired with THE SAME GIRL in a bridal party a few months later for my friends wedding (she turned out to be a good friend of my friends fiance at the time......like really, what are the odds? lol). What goes around sometimes comes around, if your going to use this service, try to remember, most people are real behind the computers, and in all fairness, you can choose to ignore, but........who knows what can happen, right?

***Likes***

-you (awwww.....lol)
-W.A.S.C.'s
-my future in-laws (biting my tongue)
-cooking
-cleaning
-German Shepherds (even though I almost got a nasty bite by one)
-tribology
-JTF2
-making things for my mother (think twice before you laugh at that, wouldn't you like it if your son did the same for you?)
-My Pet Monster (cartoon)
-acting silly

***Dislikes***

-when someone does a "drive-by" farting, and your left in the radius of action, and others stare at you in an accusing manner to hide their own insecurities.........all the while the culprit is long gone, and melted into the crowd. If your going to let it rip, stand your a$$ exactly where you let it out for 2 minutes, and take ownership of your shamelessness. It's the least your could do for humanity. (This portion of my profile does not apply to people who have no control over their biological system)
-mosquitos
-unread/deleted messages
-People who flirt while in relationships, or try to put themselves in relationship-risking situations (like folks who are in a relationship and post the most seductive pics, and are looking for "friends".....if you play with fire, there's a pretty good chance you will get burned)
-excessive philotherianism (includes kissing your dogs, singing "happy brithday" to your dog and making him/her a cake or letting a dog lick your face......unless your in an intimidating situation, like when a German Shepherd kept licking my face, lol)
-folk that think by wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey and getting drunk out of their minds that makes them more Canadian then others who are not as drunk and/or are wearing a different garment
-bad parenting
-unecessary taxation
-laziness
-Tiger Woods

Dress up in black attire, slap on some black face paint...............knock on the house of a senior citizen couple, then quickly run behind the bushes and giggle like children as we watch their utter confusion when they answer to an empty front porch.

If your profile says something like “I have my self respect, don’t think you will get sex off me on the first date”. What are you implying? Sex on the second date? Assuming he brings you some flowers, and tells you how “special” you are?
I take it as something sacred, and I don’t want to Phuck around with it…………….pun intended. A bit of modesty wouldn’t kill you, aren’t you wondering why all the guys are treating the women out their like some Chrysler rental mini-vans???
Have some patience, don’t be so trustful and wait for the one who will treat you like a Ferrari………..you know Wash you everyday, stick his nozzle in your tank daily....or enough for a trip to Regina! keep you protected from the elements, show you off to his friends, and remember, once he buys a Ferrari………there are no returns. I am looking for marriage material. I would rather be pleasing to God then to my lust. How's that for venting eh? I don’t care about your past. Some ladies with children message me, and that’s fine, just tell me it was a virgin birth and we can get on with it, lol, jk. God bless you and your child(ren), and may your ex(es) rot in hell……………jk, God bless them too while were at it. If your childrens father is involved in any way whatsoever, I am not interested.

Alright, everything else aside, I am a very sweet and caring individual who is looking to get to know a girl with the hope that something more long term may develop. I am clever, full of engenuity, great with tools, quick thinking, and I would consider myself loyal to whoever I would be with(never been in a relationship to back that claim up, but I think my persona would fit the description). I love to think of romantic things to do with a girl (I haven't done any yet, but I would save them for a special someone), I look forward to giving roses, flowers and chocolate to a girl, that may sound cheesey, but it's honest. I have a lot of good qualities and would appreciate a girl with class and culture...............and eating lots of sushi, living in Toronto, using the word "eclectic" excessively, wearing non-matching coloured shoes and having 50 tattoos doesn't make you classy or cultured, just don't try hard, I won't hold those things against you, but I am just saying, try not to be too cookie cutter, being a simple girl who is honest with herself counts for a lot :D

If your going to message me, please have the answer to the following skill testing question (relax, relax! All this is saying is that you have a grip on adding, and you won't give me credit card problems when we get married)

[5 X 5 + 3] / (10-3) = ???

If that's too easy...........simply tell me the derivative of Sine X

Hope to hear from u