Hmmm.... I'm not narcissistic enough to be comfortable writing this, but I'm confident enough to believe it will pay off, I think. If you find online dating equally awkward, we'll probably get along famously and have a nice chuckle about the madness of it all.

I studied engineering in college (A&M) and worked as an engineer at NASA. Then as I sat in my cubicle spontaneously peeping over the walls, I thought I was living out one of those whack-a-mole games, but I wasn’t the mallet but rather a mole. So when realizing it really wasn't for me, I quit and did some traveling. A little while later when I ran out of money, I landed a cushy job as a business consultant, learned a lot, and traveled the world some more. Finally I figured out a way to get people to pay me to travel the world and take pictures (suckers!) so I dropped the tie and suit and put on the sandals. So if you notice the pattern, that's pretty much me. I'm pretty care-free, like to try new things, and love traveling. However I have come to the point where I'd like to be more “rooted” (sounds better than saying "settled down"). I've lived out of a suitcase for 8 years so I don't really have a home, sounds crazy I know. Austin is my adopted "home", but right now I will be in San Antonio for the near future with my family taking care of my mom. That's my main priority at the moment so please keep that in mind.

Ideally I'm looking for a someone who is fun loving, kind to the waitress (you can tell a lot about a person's character by the way they treat people whom they don't have to be nice to), open minded, doesn’t kick puppies, etc... The type of person that would be willing take off to South America with me on short notice, but at the same time we could have a lot of fun when the power is out, sitting around the house, stuffing our face with cheetos (you must love cheetos) and telling bad jokes.

The night would probably start off with me picking you up in my 1990 Camry, it’s a real bucket. As I lead you to my car, opening the door for you, and ushering chivalry back in, you will think "No way he really drives this car! He must be loaded and this is some kind of test!" Sadly though, it really is my car but I will probably let you continue believing this for as long as I can.

As we lock eyes over a candle lit dinner, I will say something suave like "Who is the REAL Jenny??? (if your name is Jenny that is) What are your hopes? What are your dreams? Look into my eyes Jenny and tell me your ambitions!" Your lips will quiver, and your face will become flush. As you begin to glisten, you will grab a paper napkin from the napkin dispenser graciously provided by the fine restaurant I took you to, and then I will know you are mine.

I whisk you off to a hotel where we will stay for free using my points (can't take you home to my parents house on the first night!), then remove the purple velvet robe I have conveniently stashed in the trunk of my car... 1990 Camry, license plate H00PTY. When I don it as we enter the room, everything will click in your mind as you see the velvet draped over my svelte body. You will look me up and down, and you will say to yourself that the robe, like me, is dark and mysterious. Then we will order room service, tell fart jokes, and laugh ourselves to sleep. Thank you plentyoffish.com!