One evening a husband, thinking it would be funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"

His wife was not amused and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the hell is this?" he asked himself as a small dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"April!" he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear??"

She replied with a snicker, "It's not talcum powder honey, it's Miracle Grow!"

!!

Couples who laugh together, last together. :-)

(Please refrain from messaging me if you're a hunter/fisher/military dude/in law enforcement/smoker/alcoholic/druggie/sexist/racist/etc - Thank you in advance!)

(Erm, and um, that's not to say I wouldn't befriend a smoker and whatnot, I would just rather not date one? Yes? No? Maybe? Haha!)

(Would your inner child like to come out and play with my inner child?)

I'm a 26-year-young Leo residing in the suburbs of Toronto. I'm not married/taken/living in common-law. I don't have any children (YET! - I absolutely adore children). The only man in my life was my 11-year-old long-haired Chihuahua, Cheeco. He was my love, my life, my joy. So if you're not an animal lover (which I am, more than I could ever express in words - hence part of the reason why I'm a vegetarian), you may as well not bother communicating with me. We probably won't get along. Or a short. Hahaha! Holy Crust, I am so funny!

As for my interests? Well, let me see. *taps chin* I enjoy--no, scratch that. I absolutely have a *huge* passion for singing/music. Oh, and acting/watching movies/TV, playing video games, using the internet, writing, the paranormal, astronomy, spirituality, horror stuff, vampires, fantasy art, Libertarianism, etc, etc, so forth and yadda.

So, after my long shpeel, if you still feel like messaging me (not sure why you would, I mean, I'm ONLY *the* coolest person, like, EVER *flips hair*), then message me, dudes!

*puts on sunglasses, throws invisible guitar over shoulder, and walks off into the sunset, all superstar-like*

:-)

(http://forums.plentyoffish.com/usermessages.aspx?user_Id=1367232)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In March of 2003, my mother passed away from cancer. I can't possibly express how much I miss her; how much I want to smell her again and feel the warmth of her hugs. Feel the warmth and love in her words. Speak to her again about life, about love, about...just...everything. I miss her wisdom. I miss her intelligence. I miss her sense of humor. We were so alike. We were TOO alike...A lot of times I would be thinking of something, then she'd bring it up. I'd just be looking at her in awe. "You psychic, you!"...Good God, we shared fun times...But I must admit, my fondest memory, or one of my fondest, is when we'd go to concerts together. It's so cute how she'd be cheering for the Backstreet Boys or Hanson or 'N Sync. I used to always tease her, she was such a cutie. lol. Oh, and even the Christmas of 2002. We were at my grandmother's house (as we always are that time of year), and she enjoyed what my grandmother made to eat SO much she just kept pigging out on it. I teased her so much that day. I looked at her and even said, "Oh my God, you are so cute!" and we both laughed as she stuffed her face. lol. Aww. If only I had known that would be my last Christmas with her.

*sigh* I'm almost crying now, just reminiscing.

Please, folks. Don't pass up an opportunity to tell people how you feel.

What I would do for a first date?? lol...Uh?

Oh, wait, I get it. I thought they meant, "What would you do to get a first date?"...Hahaha...Like, "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" Hahaha! Oh, I crack myself up.

Shush. =\

(Notice how I completely avoid answering the question - ingenious, eh?)

*sinister voice* You'll never know!!

Err, unless you ask.