As I dived into these waters for the first time, I rued my lack of swimming lessons. But luck was busy at the time, and before it could resume its nastiness, I had found the love of my life, a woman who I have been with for over two years and who other people seem to like as well. For me, that is a rare combination.

I continue to splash around out here just to amuse myself in the forums. But if I see that you've checked out my profile, chances are that I'll check out yours. It doesn't happen with enough regularity to stop giving me a little smile every time I see a new face in that list. And yes, I do look when I log on. I'm quite comfortable with the level of insecurity exposed by that little bit of neediness.

To all who happen upon this bit of drivel that is labeled "My Profile" only because of the constricts of the site - not a slam, just an observation of reality - I wish you well as you navigate these currents. May you find what you seek.

(Except, possibly, anybody with whom I might be currently arguing with in some thread about whether the rate of growth of female toenails vs male toenails and the variances from the norm in each gender and who should therefore pick up the check: to you it is a simple neo-dismissive nod and a curt lift of an eyebrow.)

Cold rain snakes down the back of my shirt, unfettered by the heroic effort of the windbreaker to stem the charge. Pacing leads to pacing as for one of the few times in my life, I regret not owning any device which would tell me the current time whenever I desired. Pseudo-ruefully, I note the irony that in spite of my best intentions and self-righteous attitudes, time owns me after all and I consider the amount that has lapsed. In some ways, it is a lifetime. In others, not even a moment.

Meanwhile, outside the coffee shop which has lapsed temporarily into take-out only due to renovations which were a surprise to me, the wind reminds me to resume the pacing I had absently-minded quit. Surprising is the level of satisfaction that simple moving provides. How it occupies both body and mind while the two lattes I had ordered become decreasingly warm and inviting. As I sip mine to hedge against the effects of the elements, the thought that I might be well through mine and into hers passes like a sub-atomic particle through an accelerator, knowable only through examination of its "shadow."

Finally, after exhausting both lattes and the remaining hour of sunset, I console myself with the fact that at least I enjoyed a couple of outstanding cups of coffee, shrug off the fact that the weather has turned more favourable than my prospects, chalk up another life lesson and trudge home to shed my soaking clothing and inquire as to the nature of the unfulfilled evening.