Oh! where do I start,
Dark eyes, dark hair, one hidden personal piercing (Men who have pierced body parts are better prepared for a relationship. They have experienced pain and bought jewellery) and one discreet tattoo (and is not related to any one person) I like most types of music, I listen to radio 2 as much as radio 1, I don't drink a lot but like to go clubbing, and enjoy house, hard house, funky house, trance. or anything I can jump around to!

You should be:
Scrubbed clean daily (well most days), a Teenager (but you can be trapped in any age body) a bit twisted, temperamental, sarcastic, grumpy, and slightly crazy, able to make me laugh until I get face ache. A Partner in crime who enjoys a good night out, or a quiet night in. or rushing across europe for a weekend away.

You shouldn't:
Leave via the toilet window on the first date, Steal my clothes (borrowing is ok I suppose) sleep with my mates, Expect that I can cook it if it doesn't come in a packet/tin (there are exceptions)

I won't:
Stalk you via the internet or any other means, Use your razor (only on you), Leave my stuff in your house, wear your clothes, text you 50 times a day (is 49 ok), call you stupid, ugly or fat. Wear hot pants or odd socks (together or seperatly in public or private). Try to sleep with your friends, Leave crumbs in the bed, fall over drunk, or talk with my mouth full. Oh and karaoke, I don't do it at all. I won't get upset shopping for more shoes/boots/matching handbags. I actually enjoy shopping (but trust my judgement at your peril?)

I will:
Let you blame leather chairs for those noises! And your pets for the smell, Be consistantly 15 minutes late, Make tea/coffee, bring you breakfast in bed, Open wine/champagne bottles, Put up your shelves, Fix your P.C. Washing machine, Car, Garden gate, Lawnmower and other electric or battery operated appliances!. Try to make you laugh till your face aches, Tell you if your bum looks cute.

Favourite places or moments:
From the back of your neck all the way down your back, Your legs, from the top to the bottom, oh! that is the top, you know what I mean. I will for no reason, Brush your hair and massage your neck and shoulders, I just have a thing about it. and the smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes just as you wake up.

But seriously,
You don't want me to be serious do you, I can be, not often, crossing the road is a serious thing, you have to get that right.

Most un-serious time 4am sunday morning, unless I'm at work, then I'm just plain unhappy that I'm working, when I could be out.

If you find a spelling mistake or incorect grammer please tell me, What a great excuse to try to get you to write to me!

Thanks for getting this far, I hope you enjoyed reading my profile, If it made you laugh that's what it was meant to do. Please check out the Forums, I post in the UK forums and find them funny and entertaining.
By for now....
Tony

I need to add this.
I'm not looking for someone to clean up behind me, cook for me, or do my washing, I can quite easily look after myself. and I'm not just there for the fair weather. Life throws lots of things to try us. and they are all part of living. I want to share the good things in life with someone that I care about. and I'll be there to get through the times that are hard work too.
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I give my trust virtually to the point of being guilible. It is up to you if you wish to abuse or take advantage of this. My long term goal is to recieve back, the trust I give virtually without condition.
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Now girls I know alot of you don't message men first. But if you have read this far all the way through this profile then a few words wouldn't hurt now would it.

Edit April 08. Now I'm living and working back in the UK.

We meet at a regular bar, Have a drink and realise we get on quite well. After something to eat. I quietly inform you that the although the regular bar is ok I know of a better place to go. after some gently coaxing and reassurance I convince you to come with me to a club that is not quite your usual. We make our way to a part of town you don't normally associate with a night out, you never knew this was a club. but the door staff seem very friendly and welcoming You wonder if it's a good idea as it does look a bit rough, you decide to go in anyway and see what sort of company I keep. As we walk in I'm greeted by the usual grunts, insults, hugs, kisses and vague greetings. We eventually make our way up to the bar. I order some drinks and walk over to a table, around the table are some freakish looking people that I call my friends. As you nervously sit down you realise they may be staring at you. You look around you, the music is very loud, the club dark and you think that after another half an hour, you may have taken some mind altering substances acquired some unwanted tattoos and multiple piercings.
Now you are thinking of finding the loo and climbing out of the window, but when you get there you realise to your horror there isn't a window. ......... should you stay? should you go?
These people seem mostly ok. You decide to give it a chance, everybody is friendly and you stay and have an awesome night having weird conversations and watch us all get happy and dancing like nobody is watching. Another normal night.

A first date shouldn't realy be clubing, I want to hear what you are saying. Or an intimate restaurant, I would have to restrain the urge to flick food across the room. I am joking, or am I ?