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Profession SMARTASS COMEDIAN
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Interests
| RenFaire/Cosplay/Nerd/Geek Gals | Goths/Pirates/Wenches/Wiccas/Girly Girls/Vampire Gals | Swords | | Nightmare Before Christmas Corpse Bride | Horror/Comedy/Action/Adventure Movies | Plays | | Musuems | Beaches | Singing | | Karaoke | Clubs All Types | Playing A Electric Guitar/Piano | | Sing/Play In A Band | Nature | Art | | Photography | Animals | Psychic Development/Healing/Studies | | Reiki | Ghost Hunting/Paranormal Studies | Multireligion Studies | | Historial Reenactments | Computers/Networks | Electronic Gadgets | | Video/PC Games | Board/Card Games | Web | | Joe Cartoon | Dancing to 32 Styles | Exploring New Places | | Road Trips | Traveling | Russian/Chinese/French/Italian/German/Spanish Languages | | Cartoons Simpsons/Family Guy/American Dad/South Park/Beavis And Butthead | Loves Kids And Kids Love Me | Fitness | | Nutrition | Weightloss | Rock/Techno/Metal/Punk/Spanish/Pop/Dance/World/Comedy Music | | Rockabilly | Car Mods/Speed | WWE/UFC/TNA/MMA/Boxing/Monster Trucks/Motorcross/Drag Racing/Hockey/Soccer/Olympics | | Comedy Club Goer/Comedian | | |
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About Me
I WILL RESPOND TO ALL REAL WOMEN INTERESTED OR NOT. I REPLY TO EVERYONE, I'M NOT AN AZZHOLE THAT CAN'T EVEN REPLY. My best feature is my sexy voice that everyone claims u be the judge.
Imagine the man you have always wanted? Now is this man tall dark handsome? Ok now keep going imagine a man's man and not boy a man that doesn’t drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, picture a man with a taste in life without the crap of kids, drama, no other baggage, a 1 woman type of man with posse, gratitude, passion, loving, affectionate, romance and extreme intelligence and above all a great smile and great sense of humor even when things go bad he keeps a positive attitude and sense of humor. This believes in equality in the relationship, cooking, cleaning, even when out and about sometimes he pays and sometimes you pay, this is a true form of equality where both of you are equality as important with daily issues. This man makes good strong decisions and lets support from his wife or girlfriend. Now keep picturing a mans man that wont jerk you around, a man that says he will do something and actually do it. A man that can keep all promises made, not empty promises that go nowhere by the average common guy. A man with a good head on his shoulders that you can show off to friends, family and get along with them all and yet be the life of the gathering. A man that is a true jack of all trades that can do anything and everything the handyman and yet be a true geek to knowing and learning new things yet be a great athlete.
Now that you have this imagine in mind, picture this man with you as and him drive from place to place with your head on his shoulder and his arm around you, both you smiling happy feeling complete. Can you look into his eyes and be happy as he smiles or does a goofy grin just to see you laugh? Perhaps a joke or 2 hear and there. As he's driving he puts on the radio and you both start to sing to "Barbie Girl" by Aqua" as you sing like Lene Nystrøm he sings like Rene Dif perhaps not in the mood to sing anymore so he changes it to "Engel" by Rammstein and sings as deep as Till Lindeman. You feel your adrenaline rush as he drives fast and furious with the windows down your hair whipping in the crisp cool air of the night. You hear the roar of the engine as he drives a small car like a performance car going through the Los Angeles 101 freeway. As get to your destination you walk out with your man happy smiling and hungry to kiss his lips as you know that he has only his eyes on you and no other woman exists, you know that you are his fantasy wife only in pure reality. You dress so sexy and revealing it keeps his mind as dirty as possible as every night is amazing because of it. In his mind you are his fantasy woman, height, intelligence, personality, looks the whole nine yards. You have managed to make every thought of a woman on you, you have turned him on with the way you speak so sexy and seductively with no trace of a smokers voice but pure girlishly voice much like a phone sex operator and Jessica Rabbit from the movie Roger Rabbit. You have managed to capture your mans sexual deep desires with your look as you got the ideas of Jessica Rabbit, Bettie Page, Elvira, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith run through your mind to look like that because you like to and you like the reaction that when you look like that you can easily turn your man on and is turned on. You know in your heart and your 100% for sure when he makes love to you he is thinking of you, not fantasying about some other woman or girl in the middle of the act just to stay hard. You enjoy looking attractive for yourself but as a bonus for you man that loves you like there's no tomorrow for your mind, body and soul. Your daily conversations of deep intelligent thoughts and conversations are frequent as well as being funny and talking dumb or smartassed not just plain raw hardcore dirty. In your daily life you talk dirty as you love it as the result is always you are attacked like vampire lust the deep seduction of a Scorpio and you also being a Scorpio or perhaps just a cancer, Pisces, Capricorn or Virgo maybe lastly a Gemini or Taurus.
Everyday is a new day for extreme vampire like lust as it is daily like 3 times a day. Being even with 3 a day you show no signs of you ever being tired of it as you desire no one else and he desires no one else as well. When you meet or see each other it is as if you are each others weakness. You crave your partner when apart as he would crave your soft smooth skin the sweet taste of your lips, your neck and body as well as your touch and mind. When you go out you feel as if you’re a celebrating a new day together because you are complete. You get to a dance club dress so scandalous that every man and woman is looking at you and him as you get on the dance floor like true royalty and celebrity status you dance together and tear up the floor and noticed by all and how well you and him dance. Several hours later you finish dancing and you both are you tired and cheered and seen as the best dancers in the club. You keep in mind that you dance with abit class so it's not hip hop, or house or some ghetto music you danced to. However behind close doors you can easily be the dirtiest little whore on a pole for your man stripping so seductively especially on his lap. You are 100% sure he never wants nor thinks even for 1 second about any other woman just on you as you will do the same for him. In return he also gives you your own personal strip tease just the way he dances gets you wet he even licks down your body that you lose control and orgasm repeatedly as he licks your nipples or licks your clit and eats you out gently and slowly as enjoying a good meal. You need no other man, nor want another man again as he becomes the true sex god in your life as many have failed to make you feel as he would all over. His touch alone makes you wet and ready and ever so turned on.
This man will never share you as he is greedy in that aspect and you would never share him as well. Everyday you love this man more and more and as will love you beyond your wildest dreams. You begin to think would he has been all your life and wondered if you would have met him sooner would you have been married sooner. Your life together is like a true erotic sexual tale of mad sex crazed love, the love is so strong that you find yourself obsessed on him at times just as he is on you. Along with all that in mind you travel the world as husband and wife, you site see the world and also inaugurate every place you go. You see museums, operas, plays, concerts, movies, theme parks, perhaps a fascination with the paranormal or haunted spots, conventions, you attend different places like clubs, raves, different tourist attractions as well as good food in restaurants as well as a good little hole in the wall restaurant. You take the time to see and do everything.
First Date
Sometimes you just have downtime and you lay in bed with him naked and enjoy his warm body and the cool sheets enjoy some popcorn and watch a movie together in bed. Sometimes no words need to be said to show you are in love with each other just him holding you close or a cuddle is sometimes enough. Other times you are expressing you love very creatively, besides the daily 3 love making sessions. You see life as how could have you other looked me because I'm not usually the type of guy you'd ever met. You see your life if full of love, adventure, fun and exploration.
Imagine waking up one morning in Italy in a small room we are renting from a family you look over to me as I'm sleeping, you’re just naked with your leg over my body and your head is using my chest as a pillow my arm is around you. You look around it's not exactly 5 star but you look around and see all our pictures where we have gone all over Europe all the happy smiling pictures of us goofing around you smile and are looking at a map of Italy with pins where we have gone and the Europe map with different color pins where we have and haven't gone yet. For the past 3 months you realize you have been living happy in Italy away from drama, problems of the USA. You see the clock its 8:20am and soon you got to get up and wake me so we can go to work together at the family restaurant below us. We work 4 days a week in family own Italian restaurant you as the hostess and I work as the cook sometimes you help me in the kitchen cooking to serve a lot of people. We work and pay our rent and still have a lot of money left over and yet we work 10am until 7pm or 8pm the rest of time we enjoy exploring the city or catching a new local event or going out to dance at the local club. With the money we save we go to the next part of Italy to explore or the next country when we both have decided where to go and started learning to speak the language. We are in Italy speaking Italian as we both learned it together practicing it before we got there. We have a lot of stuff we have bought for us as well as for friends and family when its gets too much we ship it back home. But in the meantime you enjoy the Italian fashion as most of your clothes are tailored to fit, you find that sometimes the unknown designers make better clothing than Versace, Bebe, and others but we both always look nice and have good bargains in style that we are perfect for each other. This is just the beginning!
Write me leave a name a picture or 2 and a phone number to call you. IF you read this and you want to reply then on the subject line put "I'M NOT SPAM BUT A REAL WOMAN". I WILL RESPOND TO ALL REAL WOMEN INTERESTED OR NOT. I REPLY TO EVERYONE, I'M NOT AN AZZHOLE THAT CAN'T EVEN REPLY. I am not looking to play email tag or phone tag either and I will meet you fast.
AIM: ALTheRealSlayer YIM: AL_THE_REAL_SLAYER MSN: AL_THE_REAL_SLAYER
Mail Settings (To message TALL_DARK_FUNNY_HANDSOME you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Must not do drugs Must not be married
TALL_DARK_FUNNY_HANDSOME has 2 roses that can be sent.
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