Good day to you, I am Cpt. Dave of the good ship HMS Loser, which is slowly drifting towards nowhere...please apply within for the cabin boy vacancy...
I guess I am looking for love, marraige and children, hopefull within the next 6 months, although I am told by a highly credible source this may not be possible. Dont really seem to meet the right kind of people in bars (possibly because I am slurring and/or dribbling as I am talking to them) and dont really go to clubs, so I have decided to see what the weird and wonderful world of internet dating will bring!
Please read on for the 4 point plan, as recommended by POF if I want to be successful!

1-Hobbies: I play guitar, just for fun though, and know how to play classic tunes such as Man, I feel like a woman by Shania Twain and Borat's timeless classic, Throw the Jew Down the Well. I keep meaning to buy a harmonica and teach myself how to play it. I also want to learn piano. Do things that you want to do count as hobbies?

2-Goals/asperations: Would love to go travelling somewhere a bit obscure, ie not thailand or goa, but I am getting a bit old now and and have other prioritys, such as being boring and buying a house ect. My ultimate aim is to look in the mirror when I am in my 70's, and seeing a man who looks as good as Ken Barlow did at that age. Whilst I do not condone his adultry, it is pretty impressive that a man of his age can have an affair, keep the mother in law happpy and write a novel all at the same time, without appearing flustered at all. Another ambition of mine is for me and a mate to both buy white vans, in order to become the men with ven.

3-Me!: I think I am unique in my fear of baked beans, I actually shudder when I see them and cant clear them from a plate or anything. I believe they are the food of the devil. I also feel the purist form of hatred for Bono and Lenny Henry, and believe they should both be put down like rabid dogs. This is something you probably shouldnt question me on, as I become very angry and animated at the mere mention of them, and I wouldnt consider meeting me if you are a fan of either because I couldnt garuntee your safety. I like some stuff aswell, such as monkeys, Paul Weller, riverside pubs, old buildings and festivals. I have had many interesting things happen in my life, such as Hugh Grant offering me a cup of tea, and more recently having a mini-cab driver attempt to murder me over a fare.

4-My taste in music: I try and see as many gigs as I can, I really enjoy open mic nights, not for new and raw unsigned talent, but for watching people who cant sing or play die slowly on their a***! Usually go to a festival each year, mainly as an expiriment to see if my body can live off of death burgers and beers for 3 days. Do not try this at home! Bands I like are the smiths, pink floyd, paul weller, libertines, the beatles, oasis and er, chas 'n' dave.
I am currently struggling to sleep at night because the following questions remain unanswered, I would be grateful if you could help me with them:
Is it really all about the hokey cokey?
What is it that meatloaf wouldnt do for love?

Should any of the above interest you, please click on the 'message dave.p26 Now! link below. I am the cheerful looking chap on the left of the photos, and I smile slightly more than they suggest! I have recently been told of something called internet persona, which basically means that I could of made up an entire online character which is nothing like I am in the real world. So if you were thinking of not messaging me because I sound like a t**t, you now have no excuse, because it could all be a lie.....

I think its always good to get to know the family on a first date, perhaps arrange a dinner party and invite both sets of parents, go through old photo albums, just the usual really. Or, if thats not your cup of tea, a zoo!