Hello, I enjoy Achewood, do you? I like words and idioms and phrases and jumbling all of those together to form sentences and paragraphs and grabbing those and smearing them out like butter onto pages and stapling those together and then reading this cacophony with utter delight. Books are cool, are you?

I'm pretty nerdy about things, namely beer. I like to brew my own beer as well as drink others. Also, food. I used to be pretty obsessed with video games, but have pretty much abandoned that fandom after the PSX stopped being the dominant system. Also I still think of the N64 as being "next gen."

I like words. Many words. Real words, fake words.

I enjoy creating things. Music, awkward spaceships with LEGOs (or LEGO brand blocks, if you please), beer of course, very short stories, and friendships. How quaint.

I'm starting to realize that Andrew WK is one of the greatest human beings of all time.

Unlike most people on this site, I LOVE drama, fake people and liars. I also hate laughing and I'm definitely not down to earth. Also, I detest having a good time.

You'll either love me or you'll hate me. Or, you could sorta like me or slightly disfavor me. Alternatively, you could be completely indifferent about me.

I'm pretty much a paralegal. It's definitely less exciting than you imagine it to be!

I'm also heavily inundated in the process of doing stuff.

I'm writing material to be a stand-up comedian. I'm building a doghouse. It will have a porch. The dogs will love it.

An Iron Chef-like battle. The secret ingredient will be revealed in grand fashion.