Still searching for a Beautiful Soul, but what you must know: I have Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), which is on the autism spectrum. It is an extreme variant of male intelligence or, in other words, a talent for systemizing as opposed to empathizing. AS causes behavior that can best be described as “quirky.” “Aspies” are often described as having social skills deficits, reluctance to listen and difficulty understanding social give and take. Aspies may present with social awkwardness, little or no eye contact, aloofness, clumsiness, an odd walk, need for routine, inflexibility, tendency to collect objects, a draw toward patterns, a tendency to hyperfocus on favorite topics/interests, egotism, blunt speech, a need for space, inappropriate emotional responses, impulsive actions, lack of common sense, misunderstanding of figures of speech and intonation, difficulty picking up social cues, difficulty reading body language and other core characteristics. I have some of these behaviors and characteristics of AS, but not all. Observe any playground full of children, and the child you see playing alone, seemingly lost in his own little world, is typically the child with AS.

Now that I have scared you—here are some people who have been diagnosed with, or are speculated to have had or have AS: Leonardo da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Isaac Newton, Mozart, Beethoven, Thomas Jefferson, Charles Darwin, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Mark Twain, George Orwell, Herman Melville, William Butler Yeats, Jonathan Swift, Lewis Carroll, Immanuel Kant, Hans Christian Andersen, Lawrence of Arabia, Thomas Edison, Jane Austen, Henry Ford, Henry Thoreau, Vincent van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Emily****nson, Albert Einstein, Howard Hughes, Andy Warhol, Charles Schultz, Vernon Smith, Stanley Kubrick, Steven Spielberg, Oliver Sacks, Isaac Asimov, Bob Dylan, James Joyce, Samuel Beckett, Woody Allen, James Taylor, Bobby Fischer, John Nash, Bill Gates, Kevin Mitnick, Dan Aykroyd, Craig Nicholls, Gary Numan, Crispin Glover, Keanu Reeves and many more. Individualists, nonconformists, rebels, dissenters, iconoclasts, mavericks, outsiders, loners, eccentrics, recluses, hermits, ascetics, dreamers, creators, writers, artists, actors, inventors, scientists, philosophers, and savants—I’m in good company.

What this means: You must be a special woman who understands AS and can be with someone with AS long-term. I feel I must be open about AS, so a potential partner will know what to expect in the relationship. AS is not an excuse—an Aspie must know what it’s like to be in the neurotypical partner’s shoes. Some Aspies have learned to fake their way through the daily social interactions. I can only do so much. I can improve upon some things about myself, but I cannot change everything about myself. That would mean not being myself everyday. I choose to be at peace with myself, even if it means a lifetime of solitude. I am not interested in social butterflies. I would be most compatible with the “loner” type who is conservative, intellectual, traditional, and independent, selects friends carefully, values her time alone to pursue her own interests, avoids the crowds, and is secure in herself that she does not need to be around other people 24/7.

The world through my eyes...

So, what does an Aspie do at his sister’s BBQ? Escape to the periphery of the social chaos, and, disengaged from the “mob,” seek order, patterns, and tranquility. Count trees in the orchard and then daydream. Discern the babbling of the nearby creek from the Michael Bublé tunes drifting from the house. Calculate the ratio of girls to boys in the pool, then daydream some more. Note the pattern of the circling buzzards overhead and estimate their elevation. Study the Italian mosaic-tiled patio table under the olive tree and hypothesize on its construction. Note the location of each neighboring home within site of the backyard (and count them). Monitor the speed with which passing clouds shift shape while favorite smooth jazz tunes run through my head. Daydream about the latest topic I’ve hyperfocused on the past two weeks. Have an epiphany while wandering aimlessly about the expansive property and make note. In the evening, scan the constellations in the darkness and wonder...

The purpose of the first date is to get to know one another, see if we click, and discover if we have anything in common; therefore, I prefer a casual meeting over coffee at a neutral location where the lady feels comfortable and safe. Dinner and a movie is definitely inappropriate for a first date.

(Note: a profile under the user name "preferred45" at another dating site, which I shall not name, is NOT my profile. The pic is mine - hijacked by some loser for his own devious ends. I thank the lovely lady who brought it to my attention)