ME…

OK, so abit about me.. My life is one of those stories of “You should have been there”.. There are days I just simply amaze myself.. My life is unique, and I have a privilege of taking advantage of it constantly..! I speak 3 languages, English, bad English, and what the hell did you say.*Smiles* I believe that I was meant to be loved...not understood! When I’m having a bad hair day, I just wear a low cut blouse that distracts from my hair..! Chances are my balls are bigger than your, I just wear mine on my chest.. *Wink* I’m not spoiled, i’m just high maintenance. I’m a princess and deserves to be treated like one.. Ya there are times that I’ve had to re-size my halo because my horns were showing but isn’t that all part of life? Something you should know is on the outside I'm the cute goody two shoes (get to know me and I might be out of your league)..I was heartbroken, when I found out the world revolves around others too..

I don’t lie, I have too much fun telling the truth. My Mother always told me if you don't have anything nice to say, it's better to say nothing at all....So I use to bite my tongue and pray I didn’t need stitches!! If you can't handle the truth, don't ask for it. If you want sugar coated, go to the candy store. Though through the years I’ve decided to just be up front with people. Sometimes to a fault.. So knowing this I must forward you I’m allergic to bullsh*tand I react to it with verbal commonsense and proactive logic…Though I’m not the queen of sarcasm I can hold my own.

When I get out of the wrong side of bed, I‘m likely to bite,.. so consider this your only warning.. But for the most part I’m bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning...and apparently completely delirious too.. I’m a lady but don’t mind wearing my **** suit if pushed into it. I’ve been asked from time to time, “who lite your tampon on fire”.. I can tell you that my broom is ready for it’s 60,000 mile tune up any day now.. My imperfections only make me more adorable. I’ve been called many things in life but “normal” wasn’t one of them. I’m awesome, sexy, funny, smart, and a generous woman.. Now what do you have to offer?

Life hasn’t been sugar and candy for me. I’ve been up a sh*tcreek without a paddle but still made it home. I’ve come to accept things that I can’t change. I’ve come to learn that true strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone expects you to fall apart.. But seriously, I’m the type of person that would love to put time in a bottle. I cherish my wrinkles especially around my mouth because I know at once point I was smiling for a reason. My nature is to be delightful and entertaining. When I find myself not in that comfort zone i’m very lost. I’ve closed a few open chapters in my life, and burnt the book. Now I feel it’s time for a new book with all new chapters. I’m ready to move on, and look forward to the future.

YOU...
*Move on if..

- You have to consult your “magic 8 ball” to make decisions for you..
- You think a hang over is god’s way of saying “You kicked ass last night”.
- Use the term ‘get-r-done”
- You think pubic hair is organic dental floss.
- You’re in a dressing room and yell out “where’s the toilet paper”.
- You throw skittles at people and yell “taste the rainbow”.
- Or your fairytale begins with “You ain’t gonna believe this shit” instead of “Once upon a time’..

I wouldn’t have any interest in you other than duct taping your mouth, so no one else would have to listen to it..!!.. Ahhh… OK now that that’s out of the way.. If your gainfully employed, have a life away from “mommy”, have a license, enjoy children, (I have one he‘s 9, he’s the joy of my life),have some direction in life and feel your up for a great challenge, send me an e-mail. Who knows maybe we’ll have something in common, such as a great interest “ME”….!!!

With all joking set aside.. I'm looking for my best friend/lover/future husband. I hear he's out there somewhere.. I just don't know where, or how to locate him. I figure i'll try this for a few months then delete my profile and wait it out.. Who knows I could end up waiting a lifetime..! I'm sincere,devoted,and enjoy life. I would expect the same,nothing less.. Good luck in your search..

A first date..

- Meet in a public location, maybe dinner, or a walk... What are your ideas?