If my life were an infomercial, I'd want Billy Mays (ya know, the Oxy-Clean guy who was tragically ripped from this world without even a trial offer?) screaming my best qualities along with a visual demonstration...just to get the point across. Since I don't have that tactical marketing advantage, though, I'll have to make do with what I have on here....for now.

Let's see...I'm tall, which means I don't fit in cramped spaces too well (I'm not sure that's much of a selling point) but it DOES mean I can securely obtain hard-to-reach objects AND easily force my way through a crowd. I can also open jars like nobody's business. Damn right.

You can now have me for just one easy payment of $19.95...that's right, one easy payment of $19.95 and if YOU'RE not satisfied within 30 days I'll give you whatever money I haven't used back...plus some pocket lint (the currency of the future).

Now, it's my hope that I'll find someone with the same wonderfully mundane sense of humour, a sparkling personality and intelligence to boot. Far too often, though, are there people who will message back a few times, then never speak again with NO explanation whatsoever as to why you're apparently "not good enough". Seriously, people, grow up. That's my rant for the day. By the way, does anybody really know what "Down to Earth" means...and do they REALLY care? I have no preference as to whether or not the woman I'm with adheres to the Laws of Gravity...It may make getting to know her a bit harder, but I'm sure it's not impossible. Having said that, I actually crave a good conversation and I've made it my goal to learn/teach something new everyday.

Today's lesson: How to start a survival fire with a 9 volt battery and steel wool. Simply rub the steel wool rapidly across both battery terminals until it bursts into flames. Make sure you have tinder ready, the wool is rapidly consumed.

I bet there's no other profile on this site where you'll find that kind of information.

On a more personal note, I enjoy cooking, playing my instruments, drawing and building things that I will most likely destroy later. I consider myself a jack-of-all-trades, and master of none...yet. I like to talk and, coincidentally, listen as well. And when I say Long Term, I mean you follow the common sense timeline: Friends, really GOOD friends, significant others...and then whatever comes after. I'm not saying that 4 days from now you'll be married to me....but you COULD, for one easy payment of $19.95....that's RIGHT..just $19.95. I forgot to mention, that's plus tax...I have mouths to feed. By that I mean I also have quite a few pets who eat about 60% their body weight in crickets and blood worms.

So if you want to talk to me, I assure you I'll make it interesting and all you need to do is hit the "Message big__foot now!" button.

Oh yeah....for all of you nerds out there (whom I hope to meet) I'm going to get my geek on and show you my favourite poem. You may even recognize it:

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three.

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight.
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine.

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic.

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three,

Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer.

We break free from our mortal bonds.
With the wave of magic wands,
Our square root signs become unglued,
Your love for me has been renewed.

I'm a simple guy, can you tell? I'd much rather walk around with no sense of purpose or direction and just talk as opposed to spending a ton of money at a restaurant that barely serves enough food to keep a 3 year old child satisfied.

That being said, I DO like food so dinner isn't out of the question....I suppose I'd let spontaneity decide.

Having said that, I'm thinking walk in the park....Hot Dog stand....tackle football...and some stargazing. (I'm such a sap, eh?)