I'm a business owner and so it's difficult to meet people outside of work as I stay quite busy. In my spare time I play the guitar, dump gobs of money into my coral reef tank, thoroughly annoy my cats, go boating, hit up the gym, etc. Ideally, I'm looking for the love child of Tina Fey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, but I'd settle for Sarah Silverman and Amy Poehler with no complaints. Just a girl with a little originality that can construct a decent joke every now and again would suit me just fine.

As for me, I'm smart, successful, and spectacularly sarcastic. I can make you laugh until you cry and I'm sensitive enough to apologize for it afterward. I've never stolen anything and graffiti really pisses me off. I can't stand the words moist, juicy, or crispy. I find subtlety to be a lost art. Eight times out of ten the toaster startles me when it goes off. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I use a loofah, though I am a little embarrassed going to the store just to buy toilet paper. I can cook life-changingly delicious enchiladas, and I don't charge that much for them either. ;)

What I'm getting at is, if you're tired of the typical douche that thinks it's cool to drink 'till he pukes on his buddies, has frosted tips, and thinks it's funny to wear "I love hot moms" shirts - I might be your guy. And let's face it, everyone is so very tired of that douche.

So just say hello already.

-Justin

Drinks, sushi, strolls, conversation, spelunking - whatever's clever, I'm not bashful.