My profile is meant for the small percentage of people who have open minds, healthy attitudes and a kick ass sense of humor. It is designed with a built in "filter" to weed out the "POF wackos" in 15 seconds. So please read on if you dare.

Take a break from all those profiles with shirtless & flexing guys (yeah, you're busted) and kick off your shoes, get comfortable, you're going to be here awhile. I'm fortunate enough to travel and work across the USA, I am just visiting,Montana for several days.I don't live here. My constant traveling is more conducive to making friends. So be a good friend and tell me where to find a great spot to eat, drink & hang out! I have made many new friends across the country, but my two favorites are Ben & Jerry from Vermont. No matter where I go, they seem to follow.

I have been on POF for a short while. I have to be EXPLICIT, do not reply IF you were a former guest on either "Jerry Springer, Maury Povich or a contestant on "VH1 The Flavor of Love" Do not reply also, if you have an adams apple, if the Ringling Bros apply your makeup or if you own a fur coat or if you have any disrespect for the law in general. (If you show up in a turtleneck don't think I won't check to make sure there isn't an adams apple if I suspect one. Yeaaah....Boyyy!)

Please reply only if you have a sharp wit, the ability to laugh at yourself (because more than likely I will poke fun at you) must understand & appreciate sarcasm. If you can walk, talk & chew gum at the same time we are off to a good start. I am disappointed when a certain kind of woman thinks that her "sex appeal" can make up for her lack of personality. I am a man, not a little boy. Please bring your brain and leave the Wonderbra at home. But don't come bra-less either! HMMM, YOU made it past 15 seconds? How did that happen? *@&#($@#%@! piece of sh*t filter never worked!

Here is where you learn a little about me, you should get the gist of who I am with all of the intended clichés and none of the fat. So that means, I am good for you too. I am a very laid back (cough ..cough.. cliché) guy and don't have expectations of anyone I meet for the first time. I am not here to critique, or judge anyone. I find that having friends with diversity & variety helps me become a well rounded person myself. I like to learn about people and the things that they know.

I have been groomed and domesticated, I chew with my mouth closed, will share the remote,I put the seat down, can tie my own neckties, match my shirts with my ensemble, use proper english, have clean nails & toes, I separate my white and color laundry, drink responsibly, fight for my rights (to party) believe in keeping chivalry alive, always on time and never kiss on the first date (unless I am forced to) But please don't make the mistake of thinking I am whipped! I am a blue collar guy with a white collar mentality. I enjoy using my hands just as much as using my head. (The one on my shoulders, silly girl)

I speak my mind and I choose my words carefully. Therefore I make no apologies for what I say. I'm the kind of guy who will say in a low profile way "psst, there's a piece of spinach in your teeth" to save yourself the embarrassment of letting everyone else see you that way. It takes a whole army of idiots to get me angry, and just like the HULK, you won't like me when I am angry. But seriously, I dismiss confrontations and use my noodle to resolve arguments with constructive resolutions. Thanks Oprah. (yeah? so what? I watch Oprah so I can stay in touch with my sensitive side!)

I love all animals and respect all living things. I would escort a spider out of the house rather than kill it. Silly kind of Karma thing I have, but WHO am I to take a life, no matter how small it may be. I am not a couch potato, I rather PLAY sports than sit and watch a bunch of pros have all the fun. However, I do love movies and like to go see new releases when I can or rent a DVD and cuddle up.

I like tons of music ranging from current Top40 & Classical to Heavy Metal & Hip Hop. I can only tolerate Country for short periods. I have a fond weakness for pastries and desserts and will one day die of an overdose of brownies, napoleons & gelato (which is described as a lethal combination in medical journals)

Of course I have bad habits and issues like you probably do, but I'm not going to tell you what they are now, silly. I am trying to make a friend remember? I am only here for a few weeks or less in the city. I am of the mindset that I've got nothing to lose, and hopefully will make a new friend, nothing more.

Give yourself 10 points if you laughed 3 times, while reading this profile********(my mission accomplished)
Give yourself 15 points if you actually looked up or knew what osculation meant********(you are a brainiac)
Give yourself 25 points if you click to message me right now********( good choice indeed)
Give yourself 50 points if you added me as a favorite**********(who doesn't want MORE points?)
Deduct all points if you fell asleep or grabbed a calculator to add up your points**********(Sorry, it wasn't meant to be)
(Deluxe prizes will be given out if you score a perfect 100)

On the very rare chance that I have added you to my favorites that means " WOW,I liked your profile and photo" Consider yourself charmed, witty & beautiful. (I don't give compliments out like candy) Do you know why this profile is so long? Because I don't want to waste your time or mine! It's all here in a nutshell. You know better than I do if you want to chat with me,right? Introduce yourself already. By the way thanks for stopping by I hope you learned something about me and about YOURSELF while reading all of this.

If you would rather pass on me, that's okay. I didn't want to meet you either! (that's called sarcasm people,geez!) So here are a few of my fellow POF bachelors that might be better suited for you.

Bachelor #1 tommyO25
Bachelor #2 jmhyp
Bachelor #3 Edward831
Bachelor #4 tuna930
Bachelor #5 luvs2luv00
How many points did YOU get?

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER FROM PLENTY OF FISH: TheBullsEye™ is not for everyone. Most women can benefit with just one handshake from TheBullsEye™. Clinical tests have shown that TheBullsEye™ can create laughter, silliness, euphoria and butterflies in your tummy.
Common side effects include: accelerated heart rates, sweaty palms, numb lips, weak knees, and an increased libido. Clinical trials show TheBullsEye™ can be habit forming. Please ask your doctor (or friends) if TheBullsEye™ is right for you. You can call Dr.Tutone at 867-5309 for more details

I will arrive on a white or black horse, wearing a suit of shining armor just as the sun is to set to the west wielding a dozen roses in my quiver, when suddenly.........screeeeech......WAKE UP!
Really? In this day and age of the internet? I feel you have to get to know the person just a wee bit. Don't get me wrong, romance is great but I am saving that crazy scenario for the woman who gives me the incentive to act like a fool. Therefore, you will have to settle for an initial meet and greet with obligatory handshake, that will ultimately convince both of us that neither is psycho. (I can vouch for me, who will vouch for you? LOL)
Besides who needs that "first date" kind of pressure? We can meet for coffee, ice cream, a drink or an appetizer at any public place you choose. (My vote is for ice cream, so if you are lactose intolerant we can make some type of arrangements for you too) Just leave the pepper spray & brass knuckles at home.
However, if you have a dog (or any domestic pet) please feel free to bring them along if you choose an outside environment like a pet park. People with monkeys, parrots or any exotic animal can move to the front of my line!