Everyone always talks themselves up in these things, so I'll try something different. Have fun with it.
I'm kinda out of shape and put on quite a bit of weight lately. I can't stand the outdoors because all that space makes me nauseous and dizzy. Fresh air seems to give me headaches, so I try to stay indoors as much as possible. I really enjoy doodling and drawing pictures of cats. I have watched the Star Wars Trilogy a total of 832 times. Next weekend will be number 833! I’m gettin’ goose-bumps just thinking about it. I don’t like to do too much that’s physically demanding because it makes me tired. However, next week I’m going to start that new cauliflower diet that everyone is talking about. I’m not that crazy about cauliflower, but if you smother it in cheese-whiz it’s not bad.
Next year after I’ve earned my GED, I plan to submit some resumes around. I’d probably be interested in an executive position or I may even consider giving Hollywood a try; I really don’t want to limit my options. Until then I’ll continue delivering pizzas. This job makes me uncomfortable though, because I have to talk to people. Ever since I got out of jail this last time, I just don’t feel that I can trust anyone. My psychiatrist keeps telling me that not everyone in the world is like my former cell-mate.
Finally, I think humor is way over rated. Who needs humor to have fun? I believe I read somewhere that Charles Manson was one of the funniest guys you’d ever meet. Sure he’s a decent looking guy, but all that humor would make me think he’s got something to hide. Sometimes I get a bloody nose when I laugh; it's just not worth the risk, so I don't do it.
I really have far too many wonderful qualities to try to list here. I suppose I'll go ahead and post a couple pics, but I'm a little reluctant. I've heard Bubba was recently paroled and I think he's still got a thing for me.

Gosh, I don't know what I'd do on a first date; it makes me nervous to think about it. I guess the first thing I'd do is take a bath and cut my toenails. Then I'd get all dressed up. I made up my own T-shirt that people really love, it says "Baby, as long as I have a face you'll always have somewhere to sit". I think it's Brad Pitt that has one just like it, and he seems to do pretty good with the chicks. I suppose I'd wash the Yugo and put the passenger seat back in it. Then I'd go by Wal-Mart and pick up a bag of marshmallows for my date (I know how much my mom loved marshmallows). We'd probably go to Sonic if it was Tuesday night, since they have two boogers for the price of one on Tuesdays. Sonic has great boogers. Just to impress my date, I'd pick up the entire tab. After dinner, we might go down to the bowling alley and watch. I love watching live sports. Then I'd take my date back to her place. Even if she begged, there would be no action. I would want her to understand that I control my body and no one else. Plus I've heard that it really turns girls on when you play hard to get. I'd give her my address so she can send me a letter. I don't have internet or a phone yet, but the mailman stops by my neighborhood at least a couple times a month. Then I'd go home and wait for her letter. Now, I'm gettin' kind of excited!