*PLEASE NOTE: If you write/respond in a particularly witty way, you automatically qualify to win a free pony!!!

I'm a former garden variety bad boy (of Russian and Polish descent) gone good: very upbeat and cerebral, extremely goofy and impulsive, terribly neat and tidy (which I'm told is a Virgo trait), and curious about virtually everything. I'm lucky, really: I love my mom, dad, sister and two nieces back in Boston (where I grew up), and talk to and see them as often as I can. I've carefully cultivated a number of amazing friendships on several continents that I cherish, and that I wouldn't trade for any amount of money whatsoever. I've spent a lot of time over the past few years reinventing myself as a happier, kinder and gentler Daniel. In other words, I've dumped a lot of the emotional baggage and ego-related horseypoo that haunted me in my 20s and 30s; redefined myself in terms of who I am as a man rather than what I've accomplished, earned, bought or owned; and begun to embrace more of the spiritual aspects of myself that I blocked out for so very long.

I've played piano for over 30 years (used to play for a living when I lived in Japan and Europe); cook reasonably well; love film, improv comedy and close-up card magic; speak several languages; and have the world's greatest 15 Y. O. polar bear-like Labrador. He's just like John Tesh: both are big, blonde, dumb as a hatbox...and neither one can play the piano. I like to think of myself as a modern, reasonably well-evolved 48-year-old Cro-Magnon man. Physically I'm very fit indeed --- 5' 11" (promise); 185 lbs (ditto).; all my hair, (none on my back, however --- sorry 'bout that, ladies); broad shoulders and gut-free; straight white teeth; and nice hands (from playing the piano for so long). My female pals say they envy my eyelashes, whatever that means...so there you go. I must remember to thank my parents for their good genes.

I'm interested in finding a lady who's beautiful inside and out, likes herself, and knows where she's going in life (even if it's in several directions at once). It would certainly be a major plus if she were hysterically funny as well. Intelligence, curiosity, confidence, character, honesty, humility and integrity are all key ingredients in the lady I'm looking for.

By the way, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs (any more) --- but I don't mind if you do so...in moderation (i. e., please don't vomit on me if you can possibly help it).

On the kids thing, allow me to clarify: I really do love kids but, at 48, am completely open to meeting someone who a) has some already, b) would like to have/adopt some, or c) doesn't want/can't have them. If you have kids, and if we end up together, and if I'm lucky enough to have them call me "friend," "Daniel,"or simply "Hey, idiot!," I'll be blessed. If you are able and ready to have kids, I'm all for it; the equipment still works and is under warranty from God. com. If I never end up having kids/stepkids/adopted kids of my own, my strategy is that I'll just continue to spoil my nieces and all my friends' kids completely rotten. I'm looking for a great relationship first, 'K? I started my career as a teacher of learning disabled children, so kids will always have a very special place in my heart. Hope that clarifies this issue (for now, at least).

And, since I get asked this a lot both on- and offline, let me address why I've never been married. I'm not a commitmentphobe --- far from it. Along the way, and in two countries far, far away, (and, at different times, 'natch), two women's respective sets of parents insisted that I convert to another faith (something I'd never do, or ask anyone to do for me)...and another woman I waa very close to here in LA passed away. That's the way it goes. I guess that's what the universe had planned for me --- and it reminds me of something I heard the great John Cleese once say at a business conference (and I paraphrase here): "If you want to hear God laugh, tell her your plans."

Oh, and I can do "This Little Piggy" in German.

So there.

A few of my favorite haunts include the Magic Castle, the Groundlings, Sakura House, Akhbar, James Beach, Kaya Sushi, and other spots in Venice, Marina del Rey, Santa Monica, West LA and Hollywood.

I'm also a huge movie junkie (particularly when it comes to comedy and thriller genres) --- so if you happen to be a film lover, you score extra points.