I really like long walks beside the sea, dressed as a chicken. I often speak in Esperanto except when I'm sober (which is rare). I've been known to tell lies on dating sites but believe me, it's all true!

Some call me a horn dog but I prefer to be called a Catholic priest.

On a first date, I would bring along all of my single friends because they, like me, are not used to seeing a real human female upfront. There is no guarantee any of us will be wearing pants but I can guarantee most of us will have our pocket protectors and at least one abacus.