This is me third and last time on this site ... honest!
Words cannot describe the torture, the torment the trailer park trash, the law suits the lucky escapes I have endured....Really, I could write a book about my experiences - it would win the Booker Prize am sure.
Am innocent of all charges me lord, was only looking for a good time, gave nothing but my time, a laff, charming company sprinkled with a dose of humour - but all I got in return was the Eevolls....peircing my soul like a blacksmiths poker!
So heres hoping good fortune will fall upon me now.
If you can string a sentence together, laff at yerself and smile then get in touch...
If your an uptown uptempo woman then am a downtown downbeat guy....
You can thank your LUCKY STARS that not all scoucers look like Dean Friedman!

First i would have to get a parole date fixed.
Then hire a suit.
Shave off me 70's moustach and wash out me perm..
Slap on the brut and am ready.