Happy Thanksgiving to all of you boys out there. I am especially thankful to all of you who did not contact me. I simply would have not had enough time for all of you (because I'm too busy effing around on this site..heh). And so you know, the pics posted are pre-Thanksgiving/Holiday pics. Images may appear smaller today than tomorrow. I will make sure to update them should they change as well as change the tab to reflect my body type, since many of you have had the unfortunate experience of meeting someone who did not appear as their photos. Kinda like that whole "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR" kinda thing, except its "OBJECTS IN FRONT OF YOU ARE MUCH LARGER THAN THEY APPEARED (ONLINE)".

What I am Thankful for today:
1. The fact that the Foreskins are not playing today....not that the Cowgirls are much better to watch.
2. The invention of Beer and Tivo.
3. The invention of deodorant...now if people would wear the shiat so that I can add to the list that I am thankful that they no longer share their BO with the rest of society.
4. The invention of waxing and shaving...imagine all of the furry biatches there would be on this site without it.
5. The invention of the internet...it has changed the accessibility to porn forever...

I have accrued enough points here to make my profile more eye-catching. (Which, in my opinion, is a very bad sign, but I digress...) The only thing that caught my eye was the hot dog, that I'm totally buying, no hearts or flower petals or beautiful sunsets. I can get those anywhere. The hotdog not so much. (Which is why I'm here? Hmmmm...) Oh hell, I can probably find those anywhere too (for free)..forget I said that.

Now back to the ridiculous profile part (because none of the above is):

I am sarcastic and have a sense of humor most don't get. I tend to think out loud. Most don't know whether to kiss me or kick me. :-P

I am assertive at times. I have no problem talking to anyone. I seem to make friends anywhere I go with most anyone. I talk a lot, however, I do manage to be a good listener. I'm rather light-hearted about most things. I try not to let anything get to me and let much roll off my back.

I am not a morning person. I'm still trying to figure out who invented Monday's. I don't always wear makeup and sometimes I don't even brush my hair if I'm not going anywhere. I like to keep things simple and do my best to keep all drama away. I am not a shopper. I don't enjoy going to the mall and window shopping and if I ever do go, I know exactly what I'm looking for and I'm in and out in a flash.

I love to snuggle on the couch under blankets and watch mindless television. I read quite a bit, anything really. I don't play sports, I'd rather watch them and drink a beer while doing so. I do enjoy the outdoors in any kind of weather. I don't like to do dishes and dust. I rarely ever check the oil and other fluids in my car. I don't have a gym membership, nor do I intend on getting one. I like to take naps whenever possible, which is rare.

Now for the really important stuff: (Might want to pay close attention to this).....I tend to take over the bed at night, have been told I have the "Jimmy legs" and have been accused of snoring like a freight train at times. ( I know that can't be possibly true). I fall asleep with the TV on and I crack my knuckles including my toes...I love to kiss. I'd love to meet someone that I can't stop kissing..

I suppose the person I meet should be able to tolerate my humor, my off-color remarks at times, my sailor's mouth on occasion and, of course all of the above. Hmmm......the ability to laugh at each other, not get pissed at the stupid inconsequential crap, being on the same page about where we're headed, compromising, and understanding that at times we each need our space and not always having to talk when we are in the same room. Flashing me a mischievious smile at the most inappropriate times is always a turn on. People watching is the best. The overly possessive and obsessive should stay away.

I am not looking for someone to take care of me, just someone to share the caring.

Last, but not least, my son is my sunshine and I will never let anyone or anything get in between us. He is part of the package.

Rock climbing at a vineyard with kayaks strapped to our backs, of course keeping our passports close at hand just in case we decide to spontaneously visit the Islands or Europe all in our formal wear but not before we stop at Starbucks for some crappy over priced coffee and visiting some trendy eatery in some "Olde Town" somewhere....and of course, we can't forget our Ipods loaded with every genre of music we so much enjoy. Inviting all of our cool and fun loving friends on our first date and texting more to join us while we listen to some crappy cover band in an overly rated and metro-sexual bar would be fun too.