A woman sees her husband crying. “What’s the matter, sweetie?” She asks.

“Do you remember when we were 16, and your father caught us in the backseat 
of my car, and he shoved his shotgun in my face, and said, ‘Either marry my daughter or spend 20 years in jail’?”

“Of course, I do,” she says.

The man wipes away a tear and says, “I would have been released today.” 

Well, what can I say about myself?
I've spent the last few years training for a spot on the U.S. Olympic Weight Lifting Team. Between all that exercising, the intravenous steroids, and having to constantly eat rare steaks dripping with blood, I haven't had very much time to do anything else. I even had to turn down a walk-on job with the Chip 'N Dale Dancers.

The down side to all that exercise is, I'm so huge now; I can't wipe my own behind. No joke. I am taking applications for an experienced behind wiper, please have references.

On a good note, I've finally stopped eating urinal cakes; apparently they are not in fact cakes at all, who knew?

I enjoy oil-wrestling, food fights, skinny dipping, and just having an all around good time, with funny people.

I've been roaming the earth like a gypsy for the last couple of years. After leaving Michigan, I ended up briefly in Texas, and then moved to lovely, desolate Oklahoma. Then I spent 3 years in Belgium, traveling around Europe, and now I'm living on a little island in the South Pacific. Now I’m living in sunny Niceville FL. I've been a Fire Fighter since I escaped from High School, and it is the most gratifying job I could ever hope to have. I've been married, and divorced, but I'll always have the love of my life, my little boy.

I've been trying to live life to the fullest, and partying like a rock star.

I'm looking for a woman, of aproximatly the same age to hang out with, and have a good time. I work 24 hours on, 24 hours off, so my schedule isn't always conducive to meeting someone. That's aside from being tired of the meat market bar scene.


 My life… 
 My name is: …Wil
 My life is: …Lived by my own rules 
 Childhood ambition: …Racecar driver 
 First job: ...Fire fighter 
 My Indulgence is: …Reading a good book 
 Last purchase: …Patrone 
 Alarm clock: …My cell phone 
 Happiest moment: …Every time I see my son 
 Biggest challenge: ...Life 
 My soundtrack: …Alt rock 
 Perfect day: …Raining when the suns out 
 Insperation: …Beautiful women 
 Retreat: …My dreams and fantasies 
 My card is: …Putting strippers through college