I'm VERY down to Earth, I enjoy making people laugh and tend to surround myself with those who do the same. Nothing beats a dry sense of humor and honest wit. I like simple pleasures...clean sheets, a hot bath, a good burger. I love exploring my surroundings...festivals (good people-watching), road trips (including of course, stopping at weirdo roadside shops)...new restaurants. I love places of natural beauty...like Costa Rica and the Redwood Forests of Northern California. It's awesome when you discover something incredible that you never knew existed. I like to shoot darts, rollerblade, cook...I have lots of freaky-looking cacti and a cool freshwater fish tank. I'm a big animal-lover, in general. I grew up in New Orleans and have been in STL for 12 years. LOVE New Orleans and enjoy showing the town to people who have never been. My friends would say that I'm funny, sincere and direct. I harass them to play "what would you rather" and tend to want to discuss ridiculous thoughts and situations. I get motion sick, so don't ask me to go to 6 Flags. I once threw up in a kayak while whale-watching. Then I worried that the whales would want to come over and eat my puke and maybe their giant tail fins would smack me right out of that kayak. If fried chicken and macaroni & cheese were good for me, that would be AWESOME.

5 weird things people don’t know about me

1. I was in an impromptu, synchronized dance-off at the World's Fair in New Orleans…yes, people formed a circle in the street and cheered…

2. I was in a talent show as a young kid where I danced to Michael Jackson's Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough. I was wearing a blue oxford and a jean skirt. Jesus.

3. My ass gets FREAKISHLY cold when I'm outside in the winter…like, I think it gets frostbitten. Frostbitten? It takes all night sleeping to thaw. (no, I do not have junk in my trunk)

4. I was once waterskiing in a bayou outside of New Orleans and I wiped out next to a sight-seeing boat…an alligator sight-seeing boat…and tourists were throwing large hunks of raw meat at them. I could see the gators approaching the boat, barely skimming the water and then chomping the meat, like right F-ing next to me…that was the longest "bob-precariously-with-your-skis-awkwardly-knocking-together" two minutes of my life. Why in the hell did they let us ski there??


5. I boarded a plane from Costa Rica back to the US, and in my technical opinion, the plane sounded "weird" shortly after take-off. It was a Costa Rican airline and the pilots gave us the low-down in Spanish. I speak Spanish if you…talk….like….this….they did not. I had no idea what the **** was going on. But, the old Spanish lady sitting next to me did NOT help my mental state when she whipped out a freakin rosary and started praying. The engine was on fire and we landed (safely) in a field…aahh, good times. Good times.

Scariest Things on Earth: The image of that little girl walking all crotchety in the movie "the Ring", great white sharks breeching, tsunamis

Stuff that was cool, then wasn't cool, and now it'd be cool if I had back: that E.T. finger that lit up when I touched stuff, Simon, miniature "fake food", Atari (Pitfall, in particular)

I like to write haikus. If you don't know what this is, I am certain you will google it. If you already know, then kudos to you. If you give me a topic, I will write you one...if I like you, that is. For example- garden gnomes...here we go:

Tucked in the bushes
Oh creepy porcelain man
Quit staring at me

Hey hotel finder
Bet you have bugs in that beard
Weren't you in Willow?

Be threatened old man
Flamingo's on your turf now
He brings bigger game

You dirty old man
What's up with the wizard hat?
Must do "plant magic"

If I am Ever in Hell: I will be riding an amusement park ride that spins a lot, while country music is blasting my eardrums. It will smell like cabbage is cooking and I will be forced to lick a dry washcloth. Oh yeah, and Satan will be there licking my face trying to high-five me.
NOTE: anything dry on my tongue gives me the willies, much like nails on a chalkboard for some


Words that should never be used. EVER.- AnyWHO, vis-a-vis, stoked, friggin', preggers, "fun" when it's used to describe an object- like, "isn't this shirt fun", paw paw, humping

Walking around a busy part of town (the Loop or Central West End)...stopping in various shops, people-watching, maybe dinner at an outside cafe. I like having the option to do several impromptu things...