| | Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing people with knives was too easy.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person to count to infinity... twice.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can stick a CD up his ass and burn data onto it
Chuck Norris can hear Silence
Due to Newton's 3rd law of motion, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a flotation device.
Need to know anything else feel free to hit me up :)
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