I'm a c o c k y little smart ass and I get what I want. I'm your knight in shining armor that will open doors for you, but might let it hit you just for a laugh. I will own my own island someday and I probably won't invite you. I seek fun and adventure. Life is meant to be lived and not observed on TV. Speaking of life, mine is great, so great in fact that I don't have time for a girlfriend. Don't let that throw you off. If you and I have chemistry, I might be inclined to include you in my adventures and let you stay around for the long term as a friend, companion, lover, girlfriend and maybe even a wife. But until then, you will have to make do with dating. Yes, I'm 31 years old, have no kids and have never been married. Why you ask? Because I will not settle for anything average in this life. So far I have not found that one special woman to call my soulmate and that compares to my mother. No, I'm not a momma's boy, but I do have a great relationship with mom, dad and my siblings.

You are liable to find me on any day of the week: hiking/jogging in the mountains, working out at the gym, playing disc golf with some buddies, going to a concert in Hollywood, or riding my motorcycle up the coast to grab a beer and bite to eat and enjoying the company of my friends. But wait there's more!

Places I like to hang out include: Newcomb's Ranch up in the mountains; Neptune's Net on the Pacific Coast Highway, The Sagebrush Cantina for dancing to the live local bands; Sylmar disc golf course; Brunswick Zone bowling alley on dollar bowling and $6 pitcher night; Judge Roy Bean's to play some pool, darts or sing drunk karaoke; my house with friends for BBQ, potluck, swimming, hot tub, game night, movie night or simply relaxing.

If your last boyfriend or date thought a six pack of Bud and a pizza was a 7 course meal, and you are ok with that, you probably don't want to contact me. If you are a flake, don't bother either. I won't have sex on the first date, so don't ask. Please have a little class. If you are up for a challenge and think you can keep up with me, then drop me a line.

If you call now, please have your credit card ready. Operators are standing by. And if you call in the next 15 minutes, we will double your order. Shipping and handling is extra. Free drinks and dinners not included until after several dates. No obligation to continue before 10 dates as I may cancel your subscription at anytime.

By the way, that other guy's profile you just looked at, he's a tool. I just saw him on World's Dumbest Criminals. I'm also the guy your mother warned you about. Danger Will Robinson!!

First date? Well, we haven't gotten that far yet, so let's establish that your ad should read something like this:

I'm a rich supermodel that loves to travel and spoil my man. He must be willing to accept my gifts of Ducati's and Ferarri's. He will love spending time with me because I'm totally drama free, independent and have my act together. He will have no problem living on my 80 foot yacht with me and sailing the seas to find our own island to settle and populate. I'm insatiable in bed, so multiple orgasm training is a must. He must be an independent man's man and not some needy wussbag that wants to constantly shower me with dinners, gifts and compliments. I don't always need to have my hair, nails and makeup done and have no problem getting dirty and sleeping on the ground in a tent. I'm interesting and can hold a conversation about anything and don't always have to be right.